Day 1111 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I returned home from Seattle this evening. Regina and Grayson picked me up from the airport, then we picked Lauren up from work and all went out to dinner. What a fun family evening!

Grayson was very bright eyed from the moment he woke up, according to Regina. He was very happy to see me and he hugged me almost too much! (There really never is too much, is there!)

We are looking forward to a weekend of Christmas decorating (weather permitting) and a family weekend.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1110 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

This week has had its challenges with Brant out of town, the return of Grayson's nosebleeds, and still breaking in the new caregiver.

After work this evening Grayson and I went out to grab a quick dinner at Chipotle and pick up a couple of things at the grocery store. As usual I talked to him the whole way and tried to get him to remember where we were going. He was able to tell me that Chipotle served Mexican food but when I asked him to name something they served he answered "pasta".

We parked right outside the door to the restaurant. As I was helping Grayson out of the car I asked him where we were going. I expected him to look around for a clue to the answer. He looked directly at me and with a big smile said, "To a happy place". I laughed so hard – I've never heard him use that expression before.

Not the answer I was expecting but certainly the laugh I needed. I am grateful for the little things.

Peace,

Regina

Day 1106 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Finishing a busy holiday weekend by packing for a week in Seattle! By all accounts this appears to be the last business travel of the year.

Grayson was active and alert today. The two of us went for a walk today and I was impressed by his speed. Since his caregivers take him on walks twice a day, the two of us don’t go together as often as we did in the past. His pace as I recall it was mostly a stroll. Today he was doing a good job of keeping up with my “quick-time” pace. This pace and fitness bodes well for his upcoming ski season!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1105 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

While it was a day later than planned, the annual tradition of turkey stock is now on the stove. The USC-Notre Dame game provided lots of opportunity for me to break up the bones of our Thanksgiving meal and it will cook down for several hours to become the stock for turkey soup and next years’ secret ingredient for the stuffing. While the taste of defeat is bad, at least the house smells good!

Grayson romped all over town with us today as we finalized our bathroom surfaces. It has been a wonderful weekend of cooking, entertaining and family. What could be better? (Perhaps a USC big win? Not this year!)

Pax!

Brant

Day 1104 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving – we certainly did!

Here is a picture of our table prior to the feast, and another of Regina, Lauren and I welcoming our special 25-pound guest to the dinner table!

We had a glorious day! Rita, Richard and all of the kids and several special friends were here. All in all there were 10 for dinner. We even had the first fire in the fireplace for the season!

On a dietary note, I realized today that we consumed 2¼ pounds of butter and ¾ gallon of heavy whipping cream. I do believe that I have had my ration of butterfat for the foreseeable future! Unfortunately what is consumed in Glendale, stays in Glendale…

These are special holidays. We have lost loved ones this year, and Thanksgiving reminds me that family celebrations are so precious. The memories that I hold from Thanksgivings of my childhood remain with me today (thanks Floriene!) I can only hope that these celebrations are as important to my children as they are to me.

We at the Reed Haus have much to be thankful for, but most of all it is the friends and family that hold us close and keep us warm in their love every day on our journey through life. Know that we love and cherish all of you!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1102 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house,

Was cooking and cleaning, table setting and excitement!

The shopping is done – three trips to the store,

The turkey is in the fridge awaiting the cooks in the morn.

The pumpkin pies are cooling – Grayson is in bed,

Regina and Brant are exhausted and spent.

Tomorrow we will arise fresh and ready

To make a feast of all feasts

For our loved ones aplenty.

And as I go off to bed, I know you are thinking

That this all doesn’t rhyme – and I’m too tired to worry about it!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1101 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I’m afraid that I missed posting day 1100 – a milestone day in two respects. One was that another 100 days had passed since Grayson’s injury. The other was the 29^th anniversary of our marriage. Of the smartest things I have done in my life, that day 29 years ago tops the list. I’m also the luckiest guy alive that Regina said, “I do” that day. Here is a picture of the young couple on their way from the church to the reception – enjoy!

Grayson has been quite alert these past few days as we have been rushing around getting the house ready for Thanksgiving. While we are now back in our bedroom, the bathroom (the major cause of the construction) is still a month away from completion. We hope to finish that before Christmas. But at least we have a living room and a dining room back in action for the Thanksgiving Roast Beast!

While there is still a lot to do before Thursday, we can see the path. We are excited to entertain in our home again, and all of our children will be here. Is there anything better than that?

Pax!

Brant

Day 1099 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a busy and a productive day for all of us. After returning home from church, we moved the final bedroom items out of the living room and back into the now-finished bedroom. Thanks to Austin and Zack, we had the horsepower to lift the final three pieces into their final locations. Tonight we will sleep in our new bedroom with a living room that is almost ready for Thanksgiving. We still have three more days to prepare!

Grayson remains alert and active. Tonight we made a “short” grocery run – short because we only have a few days to shop for before the Feast of Thanksgiving! (That meal will require at least one more shopping journey.) Grayson was helpful at the store pushing the cart and in bringing bags of groceries up stairs. While it may be faster to keep him uninvolved, Regina and I try to turn every life activity into therapy.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1098 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was my first full day home in a week. It was great to sleep in a bit this morning, then do a few chores before watching the USC/UCLA game. The game was anything but relaxing. In the end, our Trojans came up short for the first time in 6 years and guaranteed a disappointing season – not what we expected coming into the year ranked #1. The reality is that there are a lot of good college football teams, and you have to play consistently high caliber football to win championships. We did not. Some other schools felt the sting this week also. That is the way of this sport, and also what makes it so fun!

Grayson continued his sharpness today. Along with that alertness is almost uncontrollable scratching. We are to the point of putting gloves on him so that he doesn’t hurt himself! He was particularly fun and verbal (for Grayson) today. Let’s hope that continues through the Thanksgiving Holiday!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1097 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It was three years ago today that I was on my way out the door, heading to the airport for a business trip to Philadelphia. Grayson gave me a big hug and said, “Love you Dad! See you Friday.” It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. That image is burned into my brain, and I had no idea that those would be the last words I would have with my son before a brain injury altered him forever. Roughly 90 minutes later my plane went wheels up, and Grayson had his cardiac incident – ironic that they would occur about the same time. Two and a half hours later I landed at DFW and turned on my cell phone. There was a message from the Glendale PD that was my first indication that life was forever changed.

While we knew that our lives were changed, we had no idea what changes were in store for us in those early days. The first night I expected him to recover just as he had in 2004. Scary but he’ll pull through, I thought. Then things became more complicated. For the next few days as he clung to life, it appeared that we would be adjusting to life without Grayson, as it was unclear if he would survive the traumatic experience. After he started to pull out of the woods, we realized he would live, but we were unsure if he would ever be able to walk and talk. Within a month he showed us that he could learn to walk again, and he became increasingly more verbal, but not very understandable.

By month 3 he was in residential rehab in Bakersfield. At this point we started to come to grips with the limits to his capabilities, but it took us several more months to realize that we would become his primary caregivers and all that the role entailed. We understood intellectually, but only after he moved back home did we fully appreciate what that meant.

Grayson has been home 26 months now. We have adjusted to the routine of living with an adult child with severe disabilities. We take him everywhere with us. But in all of those 26 months, the first time we (as in both of us together) were away from him overnight was when we went to Napa two weeks ago. Being the parent of a severely challenged young adult is a calling.

And not to forget about the impact on the siblings, Austin and Lauren have had to develop a new relationship with their older brother that they looked up to all of the years that they were growing up. He is no longer the same Grayson that they grew to know, love and count on. The change affects everyone.

There are days where the caregiver is unavailable and we have to scramble. There are times where we get frustrated and have to get past it. There are (many) times when I’m out of town and Regina has to shoulder the burden by herself. But our new life has become understood and the surprises and last minute panics have become routine. Is it what we expected as we approach our golden years? Hardly. But we have been given many gifts, and Grayson is one of those gifts that need our care.

And Grayson retains the most important element of his personality from before his incident – he is happy and loving. Don’t you wish that everyone you came in contact with daily had those traits?

Pax!

Brant

Day 1094 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Grayson was amazing cooperative and "with it" today.

For example, when I asked him to return his magazine to the basket he dropped it on the floor next to the basket. This is not unusual. What was unusual is that he missed the second time and the third time and picked it up each time until he got it right. With minimal cueing.

When I asked him to put a large item in the trash he put it in with half of it hanging out as he usually does. This time he reached back and shoved it all the way in.

These things may seem small but they are significant to me. They show not only an awareness of his actions, but a response and proactive corrective behavior. Repetition really does pay off.

It was 36 degrees when I got up this morning and the forecast for tomorrow is 80 in Glendale. No wonder Grayson has the sniffles.

Stay healthy, my friends, as we enjoy our last day of summer-like weather.

Peace,

Regina

Day 1093 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

The crisp, cool weather allows Grayson and his caregiver the opportunity to walk our canyon streets without the heat of just a week ago. The uphill walks seem to improve Grayson's alertness and we are grateful for even the smallest of improvement in his ability to answer questions on these days.

I continue to hope that these improvements might someday prove to be cumulative rather than completely variable from day to day.

In hope,

Regina

Day 1092 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was very sharp (for Grayson) again today. However, it has been a long day (lots accomplished, but still long!). Tomorrow morning I’m on a plane to Seattle for the week.

Calling it quits for tonight!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1091 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

USC managed to win big this week, even though most of us couldn’t watch it. The new Pac-12 Network is carried on about 2 services and most of us have no access to it. Hopefully the Trojans will get back on television so they can be seen again before the end of the season!

As it now stands, the winner of the USC/UCLA game next week will be the Pac-12 South champion and likely play Oregon, the North champion, for the Pac-12 Title. I’m anticipating a big buildup for the annual cross-town rivalry this year!

Grayson had another bright-eyed day today. We ran some errands, had lunch along the way then ran some more errands, all the time listening to the game! Grayson was fun to be with today!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1090 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Lauren came by to help Regina today. Mom and daughter had a great day together and I am so grateful that she returned to be close to family again!

After work, Lauren joined Regina, Grayson and I for a nice dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We chatted and talked all evening and were shocked when we looked at the time. It was a fun night and we all went to bed happy!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1089 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had another bright-eyed day again today. He was alert all evening after I relieved his caregiver. We ran some errands this evening, and he was interested and he participated when he was asked for help. Of course, the help is for therapeutic purposes – to involve him in the activity and to make his brain focus and work. It is far better for Grayson to be involved in activity than simply watch or have the activity go on around him.

This is what we do now – we take him with us everywhere and try to engage him in what we are doing. It is the therapy of ADL – activities of daily living.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1088 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was very sharp and alert today.

Regina and I had a very early morning and a very long day today. Off to bed!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1087 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Well, another general election has come and we have a new Congress and a re-elected President. We also have our TVs back to detergent commercials and our telephones back to non-political solicitation. After spending a gozillion dollars on the campaign, we have almost the same configuration in Washington as we did prior to the election. Let’s hope that this configuration is more interested in working for us, and not focused on their own individual agendas.

Grayson spent time with his new caregiver today. Maria is adjusting to dealing with a young client that eats like a teenager, and not the aging patient that most caregivers are used to. She is adjusting well, but still has a lot to learn about dealing with a young brain-injured client. She has a good attitude so we look forward to working with her.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1086 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s new caregiver started today. Her name is Maria and they seemed to get off on the right foot together today! It will take a few days to tell if this is a good fit, but initial indications are good!

My root canal went off without a hitch – no big deal in retrospect! Fortunately we got to it before the abscess became a real problem.

Tomorrow is Election Day and we will be glad to replace the nightly political calls with the home construction solicitations!

Remember to go vote!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1085 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson woke up as sharp as a tack today. He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from the get go!

Today was our weekend as yesterday was lost entirely to the game and the pre and post activities. Grayson was active and alert all day and he was a big help when it came to the heavy lifting at the grocery store – my back is still recovering!

We are heading into an insane week. Tomorrow I have a root canal (oh joy.) Regina and I both have major commitments at work. We have a new caregiver starting tomorrow, and I expect that the construction crew will be here first thing to consult before they start to work. And then there is Tuesday through Friday!

Life is full of opportunities!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1084 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was the first USC game of the season that we have had the opportunity to attend in person. With Regina and I were Grayson, Austin and Xixi and my cousin Doug and his lovely wife Kemi. Lauren and Zack joined us for lunch before the game, so it was truly a family day!

Just to set the stage, my cousin Doug and Kemi are Oregon alums – the rest of us are USC almuni or, in Regina’s case, a Trojan parent. We were glad that the Trojan fans were gracious to our two Ducks that we brought with us. And we were equally glad that our two Ducks were gracious to the rest of us in victory!

The game was amazing. 113 total points scored. The Trojans scored 51 points – and lost. Mind boggling! While hard to swallow, perhaps this is the year for the Ducks to go all the way. There’s always next year!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1083 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today we were back to normal – sort of. This was Danielle’s last day with us, so today was the last of the “old normal”. Danielle was a wonderful care giver and unfortunately she had to move away too soon. For the last 4 months we have not had to worry about the quality of Grayson’s care or his safety. She will be missed!

Monday we have a new care giver starting – Maria.  She impressed us with her enthusiasm and her personality. We look forward to working with her.

Tomorrow we will all go to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to watch the Trojans of USC play the Ducks of Oregon. With us will be my cousin Doug and his lovely wife Kemi, both graduates of that “other” great Pac-12 school. We will all be rooting for a great game, and that “our” school gets the win!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1082 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We’re home again!

After two nights away, we are back in Glendale with Grayson. This was the first time that we have been away from Grayson since he was discharged from the CNS residential program in September of 2010. We had a two-day taste of what we had expected as parents of adult children, but sometimes expectations have an uncanny way of evaporating. However, we did have two wonderful days away together – respite care for Regina and Brant! It is hard to describe the feeling of freedom from the total responsibility for caring for another adult - 24x7. How grateful we are to Lauren, Zack and Rita for allowing us to reconnect for a few days.

Grayson was happy to see us when we got back tonight! We picked him up from Rita’s tonight (thanks Rita for taking him home after Danielle was done for the day!) We went to dinner and enjoyed the last bit of our vacation with our affectionate boy. It was great to see him again. In spite of the need for a bit of freedom, we missed him and are glad we are all back home together. Tonight we will all sleep snugly in our own beds!

Pax!

Brant