Day 15 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

As of 11:30 AM Pacific Time today, we passed the two week mark since Grayson's cardiac episode. As a housekeeping item, I am changing the headline format in the blog to more accurately mark the passing of time.

Today was a disappointing day.

I keep being reminded of the roller coaster. Yesterday was up, today is down. There were no smiles from Grayson today. Now that he is off of the sedative, he has some level of consciousness, but appears to have little to no control over his muscles. I'm no expert in this area, but it appears that his brain commands one thing, and his body does something else. He then gets frustrated, and tries harder. The net effect is that this very strong, 240 pound young man is quite difficult to deal with when he becomes frustrated, angry and, I believe, scared. Add to that a questionable level of understanding of what is happening to him and a temporary short term memory of just minutes, and you have some idea what we are seeing him go through. Perhaps I am wrong, but it could be a glimpse of the uphill climb we have in front of us.

On a positive note, Grayson will have a tracheostomy tomorrow so that the breathing tube can be removed while leaving his airway protected. He will also have his feeding tube permanently placed so that it will no longer irritate his nose. Both of these should improve his comfort level and hopefully keep him calmer.

I realize that I am repeating myself when I say how much all of your notes of various technologies mean to us. From paper to electronic, we see them all, and they lift our spirits. All are heartfelt, loving and filled with God's spirit. Today I found that I went back to that well of good wishes to refresh a disappointed soul. While the tears came, I felt the warm embrace of the love from you, and from God. Thank you for giving us strength.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 14 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was a good day.

In fact, Regina called it Mother's Day because for the first time in almost two weeks, Grayson awoke and appeared to recognize her voice. Then he smiled – not a big toothy grin as he is so fond of doing, but a tiny little smile that let us know that he is in there. While this is very encouraging news after so long a spell of unconsciousness, we know that this is just the beginning of a very long battle. We know that it could be months or even years before Grayson is back home, but at least we are starting to talk about coming home. That was something that was very much in doubt last week.

Grayson's condition continues to remain stable. With the reduced level of sedative, we might be able to remove the breathing tube. That would remove a large irritant, but we will only be able to do so if he is able to protect his airway. Tomorrow we will discuss options with the physicians.

In an instant message yesterday, my cousin in Eastern Oregon gave me an assignment to read Jeremiah 29:11 – "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We take encouragement that, with God's help, Grayson's future will be a bright one.

The demonstration of God's love surrounds us every day as all of you continue to hold our family dear and keep us in your prayers. Thank you.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 13 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was another quiet day.

Grayson is on a very low dose of his sedative, and he is just barely under. He still has the breathing tube in, so some level of sedative is required to keep him comfortable. He still is resting under the cold-fluid blanket to keep his temperature in the low-normal range. His convulsive episodes seem to have reduced in intensity and frequency with his latest set of meds, but they lurk just under the surface, so we are still on edge. Rest was again the order of the day for Grayson.

Grayson's condition continues to stabilize, and that is great. As soon as we can get him off the vent, we can start to look to the next steps in his recovery.

I could say that Grayson's improvement might have something to do with the outcome of the USC-UCLA game, but I would hate to say that his Alma Mater beat up on his lifelong medical facility. Let's just say that both schools are in Grayson's corner! We have much praise to heap on both of these great institutions.

We have had so many special wishes just this weekend that are hearts are just overflowing. This is a long road we are on, and the path is not yet clear. Your continued support and encouragement is the physical expression of God's spiritual love for us while we are on that journey. Thank you for your prayers and the strength you give us.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 12 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was a quiet day.

Grayson continues to rest. For the past few days he has been sleeping with his cold-fluid blanket, as the medical team is trying to keep his temperature in the low-normal range. His sedative is very slowly being reduced. He is receiving just enough of the sedative to keep him from having his convulsive episodes, and so we are right on the edge at all times. After 11-plus days on the sedative propofol, the goal is to wean him off of it slowly so we can start to assess the injury to his brain.

After two weeks, the breathing tube becomes a problem. It agitates his throat, it gags him when he swallows and vocal cord injury becomes more likely the longer he remains on it. Therefore, if he is not able to maintain his airway, we will likely have to perform a tracheotomy. We will continue to assess it, but early next week we will need to make a decision.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal with family here in the hospital. There is a family waiting area right outside the ICU where we were able to bring in our meal and even carve our turkey! It was a joy to be surrounded by the buzz, laughter and chatter of family, enjoy our dinner, and even play a few games. Thanks to all who had a hand in preparing our feast, and making last night so enjoyable.

Today the mail box was again stuffed with cards of well wishes. You guys are awesome! The love and support we receive from all of you is nothing short of extraordinary. We continue to pray with you for God's continued blessing on the life of our young man.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 11 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

I realize that this is our third post for the day. I apologize for bombarding your mailbox, and I promise it will be our last post today!

Today was a quiet day for Grayson.

Grayson has been resting comfortably all day. He seems to be reacting well to the new meds, and his condition appears to remain stable. This past two days it has been much less exciting – that's a good thing for parental comfort!

Because of the holiday weekend, and the stability of Grayson at the moment, I suspect that the rest of the weekend will be quiet. But since my crystal ball is a bit foggy, you never know!

Blessings to all as you continue to enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend!

Brant and Regina

Happy Thanksgiving

Dear family and friends

Shortly we will be celebrating our first family Thanksgiving Dinner in the hospital, so graciously prepared for us by loving hands. In spite of our present circumstances, we really do have so much to be thankful for. Regina shared many in her own post earlier.

Before our meal this evening, we will pause in prayer today to give thanks for the bounty and grace He has given all of us. The gift of all of you, our special friends and loving family, is a living example of God's love for us.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Brant

Thanksgiving

I am thankful. For every day of life with my family. For the incredible gift of caring and spiritual medical caregivers. For doctors who won't give up. For my friends and my church and the strength that comes from love. For my employers who are more like family. For better than decent hospital cafeteria food and an adequate sofa bed in Grayson's room. For the peace that comes from trusting God.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Regina

Day 10 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Not much news today.

Today there was little change in Grayson's condition. The physicians are modifying his meds to see if they can isolate the cause of his episodes. We were able to reduce his current sedation as those new drugs took effect. He is resting comfortably, and there appears to be no further degradation.

We remain on a "wait and see" status. The neurologists continue to be vexed by his condition, though neurology is a profession in which ambiguity is the norm. We continue to pray that the hands of the physicians and his care givers are guided by the hand of God. Your powerful prayers are felt by all of us.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 9 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was not a bad day.

This is like an emotional roller coaster. I entirely missed the fact that as of yesterday, we are already into week two of our ride. As I said at the outset of this blog, this could be a very long haul indeed.

We apparently turned some kind of corner today. Grayson received some meds that appear to have had some effect on his convulsive episodes. His sedation is slowly being reduced, and he is still resting comfortably. His temperature has stabilized and he is resting without the cold-fluid blanket for the first time in several days. He is still on the vent, but he is breathing on his own. While Grayson is far from being out of the woods, these signs are encouraging that the downward trend has at least paused.

On an intellectual level, we are keenly aware that Grayson will not just wake up tomorrow, and walk out of here. But on an emotional level, looking at him sleeping here peacefully in his hospital bed, we still dream it. I expect that we will have more than just a few ups and downs on our emotional roller coaster before we are through.

We are all still stunned at the outpouring of love from all of you. Your cards, emails, wall posts, notes and blog comments lift us up daily. Please know that we read every one, but don't really have the time to respond properly. The love you show us, and the strength we derive from our faith in God, will help us get through this.

Pax!

Brant and Regina


 

Day 8 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was a quiet and sober day.

Grayson's condition was mostly unchanged. He is on an increasing amount of the sedative to control the convulsive episodes. His heart is being paced by his internal cardiac defibrillator (ICD) all the time now. He remains on the vent and feeding tube. Additional tests are being performed to help understand his condition.

A team of physicians and staff are working to figure things out, but the magic answer has not yet surfaced. We now know that there will be impairment, perhaps severe – 11 minutes without oxygen to the brain comes with a cost. The severity of the impairment will dictate the recovery path, assuming we can get beyond the current medical issues. Whatever the path, we know it will be difficult.

It is our faith in a kind and loving God that will carry us on this most difficult journey. Supported with your prayers, we will get through this. The entire family joins me in thanking you for your notes, emails, prayers, love and offers of help. You have touched us more deeply than you know.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 7 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was not so good.

Grayson is running a fever, and there is no sign of infection in his body. His reflex actions have slowed. When we bring him off sedation, the episodes begin immediately, and his movements are becoming very primitive. These are all bad signs from the viewpoint of brain health, as they all point to a deterioration of brain function. There still remains a chance that this deterioration will reverse, but that chance is a slim one.

As if he needed more trouble, Grayson's heart function is becoming more impaired, and he continues to build fluid on his lungs. The heart function is being treated medically, but there is not a whole lot that can be done for the brain.

Grayson remains sedated, and is comfortable and peaceful. He remains on a vent to maintain his oxygen levels and to protect his airway. He is receiving nutrition through a feeding tube, and he is being chilled with a cold-fluid blanket to attack the fever. Both his brother and sister visited him today, and either Regina or I remain with him at all times.

Since the day he was born, we have always known that Grayson has been a special gift to us, with some special needs. We never lived in fear of the "phone call", but we always knew that one might come some day. We received one in 2004 when he had his cardiac incident one month into his freshman year at USC. The other one came last Monday. We continue to hope and pray that his condition improves, but we have faith that a kind and loving God will give him what he needs most.

Thank you again for all of your continued prayers and kindness that you have shown our entire family.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 6 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

We expect good days and not so good days. Today was not so good.

After my posting last night, Grayson spent over an hour in an episode as I described yesterday – thrashing and flailing about. He worked so hard that his oxygen saturations dropped to a level that required sedation and additional measures to bring them back up. In the morning, following another episode, and another significant drop in saturations, the decision was made to re-introduce the breathing tube, so he is now back on the vent. He is also sedated so that the episodes are minimized, and reduces the danger of hurting himself.

Today, the rest of his body is giving him trouble. He had a pretty significant fever, and is now covered in a chilling blanket. Urine output dropped and fluid started building on his lungs, so medications were given to correct this. We don't know if this is additional injury to the kidneys or heart showing up, or if it is caused by something else. Today we mostly watched him rest while the staff treated these conditions.

The care shown by the staff has been wonderful. All patients here are well cared for, but there always seems to be a little something extra for Grayson. Perhaps it's his age, perhaps the circumstances – I don't know. I only know that there is no question that we benefit from a loving and caring staff.

We continue to be overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and affection. On behalf of the entire family, thank you for your continued prayers and demonstration of love.

Pax!

Brant

Day 5 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

All things considered, I think that today was a good day – good for Grayson because I think that his recovery is continuing. It was also extremely difficult on his parents to watch him in such a state. Why the seemingly contradictory statements?

The recovery, in my limited medical knowledge, is linked to injured brain cells starting to work again. That is why I say it is good – recovery is continuing. It is difficult for us as parents to watch, because what we see is our 6 foot 2 inch, 240 pound, 24 year-old son fighting and flailing as those brain cells start sending random signals down the wire. It is frightening to watch, even though we are comforted by the knowledge that this is one sign of healing. It does make for a long day for the parents.

One other item of good news is his comfort – his breathing tube was removed this morning. That means that he is no longer sedated, can protect his airway, and that particularly irritating apparatus is now gone.

As I sit and watch Grayson, now calmly resting, he looks just like the young man I hugged and said goodbye to as I left for the airport Monday morning. I am SO glad that I told him that I loved him, and he said the same to me, along with a chipper, "See you Thursday, Dad." Plans have changed.

The family and I can't possibly thank all of you enough for the encouraging words, prayers, and offers of help. We really don't need much at the moment, but we appreciate the help we have received. I rest comfortably knowing that Grayson is in God's healing hands, and all your prayers don't let him forget it!

Pax!

Brant

Day 4 - Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Status of Grayson as of 10:00 PM on Thursday

It is hard to describe today as anything other than frustrating. Except for reflex actions, Grayson was mostly non-responsive today. It is clear that the journey to recovery will be long indeed.

We are told that neurology patients wax and wane during their journey, and that gives us hope, but it is still hard to watch Grayson just lie there. We know that every day of his life has been a gift to us, and we are grateful that we were able to enjoy that gift. We now continue to hope and pray with you that we get to enjoy it a bit longer.

Pax!

Brant

Day 3 - Grayson's Condition

Dear family and friends

Status of Grayson as of 9:00 PM on Wednesday:

Today Grayson's condition showed signs of improvement. During the day he awakened several times for perhaps 5 minutes at a time. During those periods he was able to track us with his eyes, turn his head to find voices, and look slowly around the room. The highlight for us today was when he smiled at us briefly at first, then several times later in the day. Assuming that he recognized us, and was not just laughing at funny looking people, gives us great hope that Grayson is still in there. His brother was here this evening to see one of these moments.

Grayson does not appear able to control his arms or legs, but perhaps that will come with time – it is still early. "Wait and see" is the buzz-phrase here. If the next days are as successful as today, he will be on a path to some kind of recovery. At this point, we are measuring success in very small increments.

Thank you to those of you that are getting the word out. As I said yesterday, the love and prayers we receive from all of you are keeping us going. We will continue to keep you informed as things unfold.

God's peace!

Brant

Day 2 - Grayson's Condition

Dear friends and family

As you may already know, Grayson had a cardiac incident late Monday morning. While the details of the incident are sketchy since he was alone, we are coming to understand a bit more of what happened. As a result of the incident, there is an 11 minute window where it is unclear as to how much circulatory activity Grayson had.

As of 11:00 PM on Tuesday here is the status:

He is now breathing on his own with minimal assistance from the ventilator. A feeding tube has been inserted so that he is starting to receive nutrition. He is no longer being sedated, and will remain so if he can keep from getting agitated. His kidney function is good, and I am told that there is a strong correlation between kidney function and brain health in incidents such as this. He is moving his head, arms and legs, and his pupils are reactive. All of those signs are positive.

We await the results from the EEG that was taken Tuesday morning. Assuming that the results are positive, we can then look forward to discovering over the next 48 to 96 hours the severity, if any, of any brain damage.

Not to overstate the obvious, but Grayson is not yet conscious, and until he is, it is unlikely we will know too much more. At 9:30 this evening, he showed the first signs of consciousness, before going back to peaceful rest.

He is in the ICU and unable to receive calls or visitors. At this point, we aren't in much condition to entertain visitors either, so we ask that you continue to put your energy towards prayer, and leave the visiting until later.

Tonight his Mom is finally getting a few hours of sleep in a bed next to Grayson. His brother and sister came by for a few minutes today, and it was great to see them. We can feel your love and prayers wash over us, and it gives us hope and strength. Thank you all for the offers of help. We will keep you informed as we know more.

Prayers are good!

Brant