Day 1081 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Greetings from Napa!

We are here for a surprise birthday celebration for Jill. The event was last night and now we can tell the tale! Lauren and Zack generously offered to watch Grayson overnight so we were able to get away for a few days. We enjoyed our evening last night with a large group as we celebrated Jill’s signature day. We slept in this morning, then joined Mike and Jill, Anne and Katie, and Jim and Lynn for a picnic and wine tasting. We continued our evening handing candy out to the Trick-or-Treater’s at Mike and Jill’s followed by an awesome meal prepared by Mike.

We head back home tomorrow and will be spending tomorrow in our own beds. It is hard to believe that this is the first time we have been away on our own since Grayson has returned from Bakersfield in September of 2010. What a special treat to be allowed the opportunity to get away for a few nights.

Thank you Lauren and Zack!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1079 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had a slow day or two, but it looks as if he may be not be done with his “up” period quite yet. As always during these periods, he has a difficult time allowing himself to go to sleep. Tonight about 12:30 AM he opened his door and set off his alarm. Regina put him back to bed. These times are hard on our sleep also!

On a lighter note, Danielle was doing his Therapeutic Home Therapy Program (THP) with him today. I will quote from her report. “Had a good laugh today during the THP questions. When I asked Grayson what whiskey, wine and beer had in common, he responded, ‘They’re all good!’ I accepted it and moved to the next question.”

The alert times, despite the challenges, are the most fun!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1078 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

The weekend has had its ups and downs.

The high points included a fun Halloween party at Rita and Richard’s. In addition to a ton of other people, the entire family was there – Austin and Xixi, Lauren and Zack and the three if us. We all had a ball and it was a much later night than we had anticipated!

On the less than “up” side, the Trojans gave away the game on Saturday. After a day when they played well some of the time, they beat themselves with mistakes for the rest of it. The Wildcats got the win and the Trojans are now a 2-loss team and no longer in the National Title hunt.

And to top things off, I woke up this morning practically unable to move. Every now and then I wind up with a back-pain mess, and today was it. Usually I can get over them in a week or so if I’m good. So time to be good!

Grayson was sharp as a tack yesterday, and woke up slow as molasses this morning. Fortunately he wound up more lively as the day wore on. All is well that ends well!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1076 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was really alert today. In spite of a noisy day of pounding and drilling upstairs, Grayson was very responsive and quick. Danielle even reported that he was helpful with the dishes and some cooking! I’m sure that none of this had anything to do with the preparation of a pineapple upside-down cake. Part of Grayson’s dish duty was to pre-clean the mixing bowl, a job he was most interested in (licking the bowl if I’m being too subtle!). All in all Grayson was quick to respond all day, but his verbal responses were not very understandable.

It’s Friday! Tomorrow we get to sleep in a bit before starting our day. Have a great weekend!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1075 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was as slow as molasses this morning. Danielle commented that she couldn’t get him to focus on anything. However after lunch, she said that his brain seemed to “thaw out” and he was much more alert. On their afternoon walk he pointed things out and identified them and was very alert. Regina and I noticed the same thing this evening – he was quite “with it”.

The ups and downs of this neurological journey are amazing. Not that Grayson’s “ups” are anywhere near where he used to be, but he has a new normal, and it is against that that we measure. Sometimes he is above, and sometimes he is below. Sometimes it is easy to correlate the cause of a “down” or an “up” day, such as a bad or a good night of sleep. But the connection of cause is not always easy to make. We were told once that the mental reserves that you or I have can help us get through a bad day. Grayson no longer possesses any of those mental reserves and has no way to push through a bad day.

Fortunately, today was a pretty good day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1074 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was quite alert today. I spent the late afternoon with him as he finished up his dental work and again I was surprised with his cooperation. I wish I had the same response when I brush his teeth! After Grayson was finished I had the dentist take a quick look at an area of concern in my mouth. After an observation and an x-ray, it appears that I have a root in one of my teeth that is going south. I was referred to an endodontist for a probable root canal. Great.

After the dental work we picked up Regina and had dinner. Now THAT was enjoyable!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1073 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a little like Seattle in LA – drizzle and clouds followed by some scattered sunshine and clan air.

Grayson continued his “sharp streak” and was active and alert today. As always when he is alert, staying in bed after we put him down is rarely guaranteed! The good news is that tonight the door alarm only went off one time. I straightened out his bed, put him back down and he stayed down. Thank goodness!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1072 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

There are days when conflicting responsibilities come crashing in and I wonder how on earth I will keep my head above water. Today was one of those days.

The next couple of weeks are a confluence of responsibility for Grayson, work responsibility, legal proceedings, planning for a social opportunity, volunteer commitments and a determination not to burden other family members.

Thank God for my partner, Brant.

Our caregiver and her children must move to the east coast in the next couple of weeks because her Marine husband has been transferred across the country. We are placed in the position of interviewing once again for daytime care for Grayson.

When my capacity (which is not small) for making responsible choices for the use of our limited time was pushed to its limits, Brant managed to love me through the process and escort me across the bridge of frustration and despair.

For Grayson's sake and my own, I give thanks for Brant.

Our interview tonight proved quite promising.

The decisions are not easy, the path is not without struggle but the yoke is made easier and the burden made lighter.

Thanks be to God.

Regina

Day 1071 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Regina was up and out early as she was assisting minister for both services at church. Grayson and I rolled in a bit late to the second service but I had a good excuse – four work calls before 10:00 AM. (We had a major crisis on Friday that is still stabilizing.) After church we had a nice lunch together then Grayson and I headed off to the grocery store to get provisions for the week.

Grayson was alert and active all day. He helped me with the chores and even helped me change a light bulb.

Grayson and I ended the night with an action movie while Regina was at back church working with the confirmation class. It was a good day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1070 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was a trooper again today as we spent the day shopping for the things needed for the update to our master bedroom and bath. I don’t think that there is a home improvement store in the area that he hasn’t walked through with us!

We arrived home in time to watch the game but, alas, I neglected to check the broadcast network. This game was on the Pac-12 Network. Thus far only Acme Cable, and Fred’s Satellite and Hair Care Center are carrying the Pac-12 Network so we had to settle for radio. It turns out that the game was won in the first minute or so, so it wasn’t much of a cliffhanger. Final score – USC 50, Colorado 6.

During halftime, Grayson and I took our 1 mile walk up to the golf course and back. During our walk, a cyclist stopped and said, “Hi – remember me?” It was one of Austin’s classmates from Flintridge Prep during his middle school years. For those two years I used to give him a ride to school along with Grayson and Austin. This was the first time he had seen Grayson since Grayson was in high school. We spoke for several minutes catching up and sharing stories of friends that we have in common. He is a great “kid” (probably 25 now!) and it was great to see him again.

During our walk, Grayson moved as fast as I ever remembered. How fun was that! This is great exercise for ski season and Mammoth opens in just a few weeks!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1069 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It was a beautiful sunny day and Grayson and Danielle went for two long walks and baked a loaf of banana bread. The nice thing about the banana bread is that you get to eat it when it cools – and Grayson loves his breads!

Most of my evening was lost due to a crisis at work – a not-so-fun way to end the week. But things are recovering and my awesome team is taking care of business. Hopefully all will be well by tomorrow night!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1068 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s caregiver Danielle commented in her notes that Grayson had alert day today. After Danielle left today Grayson was in stiches watching some sitcoms on TV. When he is laughing so uncontrollably it just makes you smile. Some of the humor is subtle, some requires education to appreciate and some is just plain slapstick. Nonetheless, Grayson laughs at all of it. Sometimes he laughs so hard that I’m afraid that he won’t breathe!

The endorphins in the room are contagious, and he makes the whole house happy when he is laughing.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1067 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a memorable day for me, although I had little time to reflect upon it. 35 years ago today I reported for work at Hughes Aircraft Company. In 2000 the space business of Hughes was bought by The Boeing Company, so today I was recognized as a 35 year Boeing employee. I would never have thought 35 years ago that I would still be working for the same company – but I am and I’m still having a ball! We have seen amazing advancements in my industry and I am proud to continue to work in the industry of my father – and my son Austin!

This afternoon I took Grayson to the dentist for visit 2 of 3 in a treatment plan. We are being overly conservative in his dental care so that we might avoid major dental procedures. Dental hygiene with Grayson is difficult, but Regina and I are pretty good at getting his teeth brushed. My observation of caregivers is that they want him to brush his own teeth. When he came home from Bakersfield, his teeth were yellowed and we were concerned about his dental health. We have made a difference in the past few years. Now our very patient family dentist is making sure to get even the smallest amount of decay out and seal all of his teeth.

I was amazed again today at how cooperative Grayson was in the dental chair. Constant encouragement from the dentist is a major contributing factor, but nonetheless I am still amazed. In fact, our dentist cleans Grayson’s teeth himself – quite a departure for the rest of us that are cleaned by the hygienists. I am so pleased with the care that they give Grayson.

Thank God for giving us a dentist that is patient and has such a kind touch, as well as a warm spot in his heart for Grayson!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1066 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a sort-of back to normal day. The “sort-of” part was that Danielle had a day off that we had not marked on the calendar. Needless to say it was a day of unplanned juggling. I took Grayson with me to a doctor’s appointment so Regina could work and Regina watched Grayson so I could work. It was a crazy day, but we both had an unexpected opportunity to interact with Grayson.

Grayson was quite alert and active today and he was fun to be with. As the weather cools down (only in the high 80s today) I’m looking forward to going skiing with him again. Winter will soon be upon us and we will go play in the snow again soon. In the meantime, we will keep our shorts on as long as we can!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1065 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

On Sunday I spent the Morning and early afternoon visiting my cousin Jasper and his family in Milton-Freewater, then went back out to the farm for one last visit with Imogene before starting the trek back. Suzanne and her family were still there so we all had some final visit time. My family is very close and I regret that we do not get to spend much time together. Distance does play a part!

About 3:00 PM I headed out and swung by the old berry stand for one final look. I don’t know when I will pass this way again! Since someone else is now farming the land, it has been returned to wheat fields, but the lonely berry stand remains. It is hard to believe that over 1000 kids worked there over the 50 summers the berry business was in operation. Many talked about it during the anniversary celebration last June. What they said was that they learned the value of work and commitment. Lasting values that stuck with many of these kids for the rest of their lives.

Leaving the berry stand behind, I started driving to Seattle – 288 miles and one rest stop. Not bad!

This morning I boarded a plane bound for home. When I arrived Grayson and Regina were waiting on the porch for me! The first thing I did, after big hugs from Regina and Grayson, was to put on shorts – it was in the 80s and I just came from the great north wet! Tonight we enjoyed each other’s company and caught up on many stories from my week away.

It was a great night and it is great to be home!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1063 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Greetings from the Winn Family Farm in Umatilla County Oregon!

Today we paid our respects to a man that I am proud to refer to as my favorite uncle. My Uncle Bob and I had a special bond. He was my mother’s younger brother and he outlived her by 18 years. He was a special connection not only to my mom, but to my grandparents. My grandmother passed when my mother was in her early teens, and my mother moved to California after marrying my dad and finishing college (Oregon State if you are keeping score). I had little connection to my grandfather, but it was Uncle Bob that made the family connection to past generations come alive.

Bob, a.k.a. George Robert Winn, was famous in his youth for painting on a wall, “Please call me Bob!”  I think that he loved his name as a palindrome because he made sure that the rest of us knew our name backwards. I am Tnarb and all of my kids also know their backwards names – Nosyarg, Nitsua and Nerual. Today if I ask Grayson what his name is backwards, he will say “Nosyarg Deer”.

During my junior high school years I used to come up for several weeks during the summer. During those summers, Uncle Bob gave me the first opportunity to drive (an old pickup truck through the fields), taught me to ride a motorcycle (at the age of 13), and shoot a 22 rifle – things that a LA city kid just couldn’t do. I also got to move irrigation pipe in the field, hoe weeds, work harvest – other things that a kid from LA could not imagine.

We worked hard and we played hard. Those summers made a lasting memory and a lasting impression on my life. My cousin Jasper today asked me how many summers I visited. When I replied 2, he was astounded. All of the things that we did and all of the memories we made he was certain that I came up for 4 summers or more. Isn’t it amazing how our impressions overwhelm our senses to create bigger than life memories? I think that it is a wonderful testimony to the number of things that we did together to fool our sense of logic and allow the wave of family fun to crash over us and make our actual experiences to become larger than life.

I am so grateful that Regina, Grayson and I made the effort to attend Bob and Imogene’s 65^th Wedding Anniversary Celebration last June described here on Day 931. When we left that weekend I had no idea that I would be back here so soon. In fact, if I had not been in Seattle on business travel this week it is unlikely that I would have been able to make it as most of the flights were already booked. I was fortunate to be able to reschedule my return flight and take the beautiful drive from Seattle to Weston, Oregon on Friday.

The memorial service was held in the barn that was built by my grandfather in 1916. No longer a functioning barn, it has been lovingly converted to a banquet hall by my cousin Preston and his lovely wife Arlene. It is the same location where we held the anniversary last June. After the service we packed the living room of the old house and sang hymns and shared memories of Bob. Bob was truly a wonderful man who touched the lives of many people. We will miss him.

Tomorrow I drive back to Seattle and I fly home on Monday.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1057 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a sad day and a day of rejoicing. My Uncle Bob was called home at around noon today. This is the uncle whose 65^th anniversary we celebrated just last June 3^rd and I described in this blog on Day 931. The day was sad for all of us because of the certain knowledge that we will no longer be able to enjoy his wit, culture and conversation while we dwell on the earth. However we rejoice because of the equally certain knowledge that he is happy to be home with his Father and is no longer suffering. I shed tears this afternoon, then spent hours in conversation with several of my cousins. Keep his dear bride Imogene and his 4 children in your prayers this day.

I’ll be heading to Seattle for the week so tonight I am packing. Regina has a very busy week also so keep her in your thoughts as she juggles responsibilities with grace as always.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1056 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was a champ once again going along with us as we went to various locations and solidified our choices for materials in the master suite remodel. Our long day was productive as we managed to tentatively select materials for the bathroom counter that coordinate with the walls and flooring. Now we will wait for a few weeks to get the replacement exterior door (the old one was rigid only because the termites were holding hands!) During the wait, the focus will shift to the bedroom where we hope to put on a full court press and get finished so that we can be moved out of the living room prior to Thanksgiving.

Never a dull moment at the Reed Haus!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1055 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s caregiver shared that it was a slow start today with little focus early. As the day wore on he became more focused and this evening he was quite alert – and quite affectionate. He was clearly looking for hugs this evening when we went to dinner and he was quite cuddly all evening. Sometimes this proves awkward in a restaurant or when trying to carry on a conversation, but I’m happy to take the affection.

Do you ever find yourselves missing the hugs of your kids when they were little? One of our blessings is that we get them from Grayson constantly.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1054 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Thursday night football! Our Trojans recovered after spotting the Utes 14 points in the first 3 minutes of the game. The final score was 38-28 with the Trojans out on top. The Reed Haus cheered on our boys on a weeknight for a change! Next up – the always troublesome Huskies from Washington.

Grayson was a little off his game today - we may be getting to the end of the current up-cycle. He is still curious and active, but going back to his non-verbal ways. Let’s hope that a weekend of activity can turn that around!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1052 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was another scorcher here in the Southland – another 100° + day. Tomorrow it should start cooling off – a balmy 87°!

Grayson was showing signs of the end of his “up” cycle – he was very inattentive and non-verbal today. Let’s hope that he will be rested in the morning and that the up-cycle remains with us!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1051 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

October and 105°. Welcome to fall in LA!

Today was a scorcher in the Southland. Grayson was alert and verbal (for Grayson) all day, but he was repeating himself today – a common thing for Grayson when he becomes verbal. The upswing times are always interesting – and frustrating – to watch. Interesting because of the increased responses; frustrating because of an increased level of activity resulting in an inability to sit still and a pattern of standing up and wandering around (often with a book). The wandering with a book thing gives us some anxiety around stairs. We call that the parent gene.

I had the opportunity to represent The Boeing Company at my alma mater, USC, this evening as a mock interviewer. What a fun evening! The students were all very bright and engaging, and also very nervous! Most of the students were from various Asian countries and for many English was a second language. This was an opportunity for them to make relationships with companies representing many fields while becoming more comfortable with the current interview processes and actually “living” the experience. For those of you that haven’t participated in the hiring process recently, you will be shocked that the trend is moving quickly to panel interviews with structured questions. When I was hired, a family friend gave my resume to some coworkers and the next thing I knew I had interviews. Today that practice is quickly fading – and is completely gone at my company. It’s a new world out there and I am pleased that the student groups at USC are exposing their students to it.

Pax!

Brant