Day 139 – Grayson’s Journey

Our dear family and friends,

When Lauren and I got to Grayson's today, he was waiting at his apartment door, wearing his coat and a great big smile. He was so happy to see us and eagerly walked straight to the van and climbed in the front seat. It reminded me of the unbridled enthusiasm of a puppy going out on a walk.

Among the "exciting" things that filled our day, I asked Grayson if he wanted to get a haircut. He declined. I told him it was his decision and that it was okay if he didn't want one but asked him to look in the mirror and then decide if he wanted a haircut. After a couple of minutes he did change his mind and off we went to Supercuts. This time he reminded me of a six year old, grinning and looking around the salon and at himself in the mirror. What a handsome guy! (I'll try to post a picture tomorrow).

We walked for a couple of hours around various outdoor shopping centers, pausing to look at birds, flowers, and shop windows. When I tried a hand cream at one store, he wanted to smell it on my hands. At William Sonoma and Trader Joe's he went straight for the food samples (even though we'd just had lunch). He patiently waited at another shop while Lauren and I looked at clothes.

Some of the time he sat with his novel open in his lap (he has had the habit of carrying a book in his cargo pocket for years). At one point Lauren sat next to him and asked him what he was reading. He handed the book to her. When asked the name of the novel, he pointed to the cover. When asked what kind of a book, he said an adventure. After repeated tries to get him engaged in a discussion about the book, she finally asked him to read the first page to her. He read her the first two sentences and gave up. I must point out that since the weaning off of yet another anti-convulsive drug this week, his speech is very hard to understand. He is stammering much more and the pace is quite rapid. His whole demeanor is – not quite agitated but really restless. He can't keep his hands or legs still. Even when he stretched out and tried to snooze on the bed, he couldn't stop moving. I can only imagine how frustrating it is when your body won't cooperate. This additional challenge of adjusting to medication changes is indeed a mixed blessing. What a chemical balancing act considering that even minute changes have a major impact on him.

We spent several quiet, undistracted hours at the hotel together today exploring my laptop. With our help Grayson successfully remembered two of his three passwords and was able to check email, voice mail, and his Facebook page. While he didn't have the focus to dictate any response, he read each message out loud and smiled as if he was hearing it directly from his friends. His hands shook so badly that when he tried to type he just typed gibberish in long strings. This is another example of what must seem like physical betrayal but in actuality is another step in reestablishing old (or looking for new) paths of communication. I rejoice that he even has this opportunity to be frustrated. Four months ago I could not have guessed this would ever be possible.

As I look back on November 16, 2009 and turn to look forward to uncertain yet hopeful tomorrows, it is impossible on this Easter Vigil not to see the parallels in our faith journey. Tomorrow we celebrate the great miracle of resurrection and new life and walk in the joy of all that is represented in that promise.

Grace, peace, and Happy Easter to each of you.

Regina