Day 197 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

While 10 of us enjoyed a family Memorial Day BBQ here in Glendale, Grayson enjoyed a Memorial Day BBQ with his fellow residents at the Centre for Neuro Skills in Bakersfield. It was a warm day, so Grayson spent some quality pool time today also.

After the BBQ, Grayson went to the movies. When I called this evening, he was still there. I did call later and talked to him for a bit just before he went to bed, but his residential assistant (RA) had gone home already, so I did not get much of a report tonight.

I hope all of you had a safe Memorial Day, and I hope you all had an opportunity in your own way to thank those for whom this day was created in 1868.

Pax!

Brant

Day 196 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We had a nice day with Grayson today. We arrived to pick him up for church this morning and while I was going through the administrative process of signing him out of the facility, Regina went to get Grayson out of his apartment and into the car. Grayson couldn't figure out how to get up out of his chair – he was stuck, as we call it. The technical term is apraxia, and the simple description is the inability to carry out a task, even though the desire and the capability is present. When this happens to Grayson, he seems to get "stuck" on step 1 of a multi-step activity. After he gets started, things seem to fall into place.

Regina did manage to get Grayson vertical and moving toward the car, so we piled in and went to church together for the first time in several weeks. We were warmly welcomed by our adopted congregation in Bakersfield, but were shocked and saddened to hear that one of the first people that had welcomed us to the church had passed suddenly and without warning just a few weeks before. Her light of welcome shone so brightly, and she was way too young to be called home. There must have been a great need for one more angel in heaven.

After we bid our farewells at church, lunch was in order. We engaged Grayson in the decision, and asked him a series of A or B questions – hamburgers or burrito, burrito or sushi, sushi or pizza, pizza or taco – you get the idea. Grayson chose the second item each time. The pattern was so repeatable, that the answers were not valid. We decided on hamburgers!

We ran a few errands after lunch. We needed to purchase a new blood pressure cuff for Grayson, as his old one had given up the ghost. Grayson also wanted a flag for Memorial Day. We purchased both of those items before heading back to the residence.

We signed him in, and made preparations to go swimming. As luck would have it, the lifeguard was on her lunch break, so it would be 30 minutes before we could get into the pool. Since it was 93 in Bakersfield today, the pool was high on our list of activity preferences! To fill the time, Regina took Grayson over to the Swain Center to play ping pong. (I took a power nap!) Grayson did very well at the ping pong table, with the exception of chasing the lost balls.

We got into the pool around 4:15 – or at least I plunged in while Grayson sloooooooowly put one toe in, then another. Finally he was in the water, and he was fine. Grayson was almost childlike in his exploration of the pool. He explored the grout lines of the tile, and slowly walked around inside the pool to see what he could see. Most of the time Grayson wore a big smile like a child with a new toy. For the longest time, Grayson and I floated in the water. I'd like to say that we talked, but he mostly listened as I rambled on about the significance of Memorial Day, and how it is the one day of the year where the flag is flown at half staff until noon, then raised back to full staff for the rest of the day.

After we left the pool area, Regina and I shared hugs and farewells and headed over the hill back home. I'll leave you with one last picture that Regina captured in the pool this afternoon. Enjoy!

Pax!

Brant

Day 195 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

This morning we headed north to Bakersfield to spend the next few days with Grayson. Today we spent our day at the residence. The big buzz today was the opening of the pool for the season! We wasted no time, and spent the afternoon swimming and soaking up the sun. Here is a picture of Grayson in the pool today. Grayson was excited to be in the pool, even though the water was still pretty cold. Fortunately the air was warm, so the overall experience was quite nice. What fun it was to watch him explore all of the sensations of being in the water again – sort of like watching a child discover a swimming pool.

Grayson continues to be relatively non-verbal, and he was a bit disconnected today. On the good side, his one-word answers were clearer, and his hand tremors seemed to be further reduced.

Tonight, Grayson went to a play at a local theatre. When we left him, he was preparing dinner under the watchful eye of his residential assistant (RA). We'll pick him up in the morning and take him to church.

Regina and I got to have a date tonight!

Pax!

Brant

Day 194 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When I called at 7:45 PM tonight, Grayson had just left for the movies with several other residents and their residential assistants (RA's). As a result I have absolutely no information to pass along as to Grayson's day. Tomorrow we will be heading up to Bakersfield for a visit, so we will see him in the morning, and be able to get a first hand sense of how he is doing since we saw him last weekend.

Pray for safe travel and look for my posting tomorrow!

Pax!

Brant

Day 193 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Grayson had a "National Geographic" day. After he returned home from the clinic, he had his daily 30 minutes of rest and/or TV. Then he was cued to start dinner. Tonight dinner was fish, mashed potatoes and pears.

After dinner Grayson went to his room for a while and watched the pictures on his electronic frame. We have loaded about 50 pictures in there from various memorable parts of his life, and of family activities. After a long time he came out with his National Geographic, then sat on the couch and slowly, methodically went through the entire magazine. He took time out of his reading to put in a load of laundry.

After a while, his residential Assistant (RA) worked with Grayson on his therapeutic home program. After that, Grayson was allowed to watch 30 minutes of TV.

At the conclusion of TV time, Grayson went back to his new National Geographic magazines and proceeded to review them as long as he was able. By about 7:30 PM, he was winding down. He got ready for bed and by 8:30 he was in bed – reading his new National Geographic!

Pax!

Brant

Day 192 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

After getting "stuck" getting off the bus, Grayson had a good evening. When he did manage to get off the bus, he went to his apartment for his normal 30 minutes of rest and TV. After the time was up, he got up to help his residential assistant (RA) prepare dinner. After dinner and clean-up, he worked with his RA on his therapeutic home program (THP). According to the RA, he did quite well, and that the THP's are getting more difficult. Tonight he had to answer several questions after listening to a sentence of information..

After he finished the THP's, Grayson and his RA went over to the Swain Center (the rec center) to wish one of the residents a happy birthday. There was cake and a bit of a party atmosphere. Good fun was had by all – cake too! After leaving the Swain Center, Grayson took a walk for a bit then checked the mail.

While his RA was on her break, another RA came in to spell her. Grayson and the substitute RA did not hit it off at all, and it led to some aggressive behavior on Grayson's part. When asked later why, Grayson stated that, "they got on my nerves." One of the things that Grayson has to relearn is self control and socially appropriate behavior. These are hard lessons to learn at 24.9 years old. Let's just keep praying that he
eventually does!

Pax!

Brant

Day 191 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

According to his residential assistant (RA), Grayson had a pretty good day today. He arrived back at the residence from the clinic then did his chores. He had a walk around the grounds then picked up the mail. Today Grayson received a letter from his sister. He was thrilled to get a letter, and very happy to hear from Lauren.

After his walk Grayson helped to make dinner – tonight he had chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and peaches. He helped his RA make the dinner parts that he was capable of making. All in all he did a good job!

Next Grayson did his therapeutic home program (THP) with his RA. Tonight he had a rare success with his orientation questions – getting the address at the facility correct! The street number is so similar to our home address that he just can't seem to get it correct most days. One of the other THP's he did tonight was to listen to a group of three words then name the category. He did well, and he enjoyed this particular therapy.

When I talked to Grayson this evening, he didn't remember his dinner or the letter from Lauren. But he knew who I was, and was happy to hear from me. We have learned to be grateful for the good things we do have.

Pax!

Brant

Day 190 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had a good day today. After arriving home from the clinic, he had his normal short rest then got dinner started. Tonight he had spaghetti with meat sauce. Not quite like the one that I make that cooks for hours, but one that is within Grayson's grasp. He cooked the ground beef then added a jar of pasta sauce. Pour over hot spaghetti, and dinner is served!

After dinner and clean-up, he took out the trash then went on a walk to the park across the street. He and his residential assistant (RA) had a nice long walk. On the way back to the apartment they stopped and checked the mail. Grayson was happy to see that he had a letter and a picture from someone. His RA told me that he was quite happy and excited to get the letter. He is always so happy to get mail!

Grayson was in bed by 8:00, so there isn't a lot more to tell this evening.

Pax!

Brant

Day 189 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

After we departed Bakersfield last night, Grayson attended a Shakespeare comedy at Cal State Bakersfield – or at least he bought a ticket. After arriving at the theater, Grayson became agitated. Before the curtain was raised, he had become frustrated enough that he needed to go back to the residence. So off he and his residential assistant (RA) went back from where they had just come. When they arrived back, Grayson brushed his teeth and went straight to bed. The likely combination of a late show (starting at 8:00 PM) his being tired and our contributing to it with all of our running around at the park likely made this late evening just a non-starter.

Today things went much better (perhaps because we weren't there?) He slept in, and had an uneventful and peaceful morning. In the afternoon he attended services at the local Foursquare Church where several of his fellow residents attend. He appeared to enjoy himself, tapping his foot to the unfamiliar praise songs, and modeling good behavior.

When he returned from church, he said that he was hungry. His RA asked him what he should do about it, and Grayson made a beeline for the fridge. He pulled out a simple meal, a frozen pot roast dinner. When Grayson was asked how to prepare it, Grayson said that he didn't know. The RA then asked Grayson how would he find out what to do, and Grayson responded, "Read the box!" Grayson then read the instructions, set the preheat temperature on the oven, and told his RA that it needed 30 minutes to cook. The RA suggested to Grayson that they do their therapeutic home program (THP) while the oven was pre-heating and the meal cooked. That worked for Grayson, and what a great RA to find a way to make things work!

Overall, Grayson's energy level was much higher today than yesterday. In case you wondered, today we spent the entire day helping Austin move into a new apartment. While we were unable to spend our day with Grayson, it was great to spend rare time with our new engineer, Austin. By the time our day was done, our energy level was pretty low – sort of like Grayson yesterday!

Pax!

Brant

Day 188 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

What a beautiful day to drive to Bakersfield and what an even more beautiful smile greeted us when we arrived.

We thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with Grayson. He was his usual quiet and affectionate self. We dined together on the sunny yet cool outdoor patio at Chipotle. Every couple of bites Grayson would stop eating and listen to us talk or watch the birds scramble for crumbs underneath the tables. He would chuckle or smile at amusing stories and then eat a bite or two if we encouraged him. He looks even thinner than before and as of his last weighing two weeks ago he had lost a couple more pounds.

One of the errands we ran together this afternoon was shopping for a new blood pressure monitor. In one store the monitors were locked in a glass display case. Above the case was a large red button with the words "Press for service". It was very similar to the Staples big red "Easy" button you may have seen in ads. Grayson's eyes lit up, a mischievous grin came across his face, and an extended index finger slowly inched its way directly toward the button. It was as if we were watching a five year old.

After ice cream at the locally famous "Moo Creamery" we spent a long time at a local park. Here we encouraged short dashes to get his heart rate up and lots of time passing, kicking or bouncing a big, blue ball among the three of us. We are trying to work on his sense of body timing and reaction time.

Later in the afternoon we spent some time listening to more recorded chapters of The Hobbit and reading some of the cards and letters from family and friends. Tonight he is attending a production of the classic Shakespearean comedy, Merry Wives of Windsor at Cal State Bakersfield.

This day so perfectly describes Grayson - curious and happy, childlike yet enjoying literature and live theatre. What I miss most is his lively, intelligent conversation. It takes more effort to communicate with him now – more questions, learning how to read the facial expressions and shoulder shrugs, guessing his needs and encouraging him to verbalize his desires, thoughts, and choices.

Grayson is relearning much of what we all take for granted in our lives. Brant and I are learning how to slow down our own lives and walk in slower step with Grayson. I think we are all making good progress.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 187 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

This evening I returned from St Louis, and arrived home in time to talk to Grayson before he had gone to bed. Tonight he remembered little of his adventures, but I did get a full rundown from his residential assistant (RA).

Grayson helped make dinner this evening – mac and cheese and green beans. He ate all of it which, considering his weight loss, is a good thing. After he was cued to rinse the dishes and put them into the dishwasher, he took out the trash.

Tonight Grayson's adventure was to go to the movies. He saw Shrek Forever After. He enjoyed his popcorn and the movie, and was well behaved while at the theater. While in the van going back to the residence there were some issues, but the staff worked through them.

Ten minutes after he returned home, I called. He didn't remember going to the movies tonight. Such is the case with Grayson's brain injury.

Pax!

Brant

Day 186 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Today was a mixed day for Grayson that illustrated more of the practical challenges we face.

Grayson was able to complete his orientation questions and was able to give his address, name the date and time, and with cues most of his phone number.

He prepared his dinner with the help of his favorite RA. During the preparations he tried to walk away several times and the RA was able to patiently redirect his attention back to the task at hand. In the middle of dinner Grayson decided that he wanted to finish last night's brownies. Encouragement, redirection and moving the brownie tray were unsuccessful and his frustration kept accelerating. Self control is a challenge for Grayson at this point in his recovery and his RA, another RA and his roommate were all targets for his frustration.

Thank God for the training the staff receives and for their patience.

Later in the evening they attended a Downtown Street Fair with a theme of "Health & Safety". Unfortunately, Grayson tried several times to go into local establishments looking for something more bracing than lemonade. At one point he helped himself to a stranger's bag of popcorn.

Obviously the challenges of self control are difficult for Grayson and uncomfortable for his caregivers. I recognize, however, that we didn't learn self control ourselves in just a few months but over the course of years – and we had the advantage of a healthy brain and patient parents.

The road is a bumpy one with unpredictable turns and an even more uncertain destination. I am still grateful to be on the road at all.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 185 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Grayson had a nice, "normal" day.

This evening he helped prepare dinner and did two loads of laundry. He completed his therapeutic home program and then went for a walk. While on his walk he took out the trash, checked his mail and read a letter from his sister. After his walk he returned to his apartment and made brownies. While they were in the oven he read the new National Geographic I brought him this weekend. When he was ready for bed, his RA found him looking at all the pictures of family and friends that are posted on his bulletin board and wall.

When I called this evening he was already snuggled in bed with the light off. We exchanged our messages of love and because both Austin and Lauren were home this evening, they, too, shared a few minutes on the phone. These few minutes made my day.

While this simple, ordinary day is facilitated with a caring RA cueing the sequence of his activities, it is in dramatic contrast to where we were six months ago.

God is gracious in many ways and we give him thanks.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 184 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Grayson surprised me when he answered the phone in the apartment himself. He immediately recognized my voice.

He was enjoying vanilla ice cream and told me that he had been singing tonight. I was able to confirm later that indeed he had been singing karaoke in the community room tonight with several others. Yippee, an accurate short term memory!

The remainder of our conversation included one word answers from Grayson until he just stopped answering me at all. At this point, I asked if he was watching TV, since we know he is currently close to incapable of paying attention to anything else when it is on. He was, of course, and it was "something funny". Who would want to compete with that?

I wished him a good night and asked him to give the phone to his RA. "See you tomorrow - goodbye", he said and hung up. I smiled as I listened to the dial tone and pictured him laughing at the TV eating his vanilla ice cream.

He was happy tonight and that was good enough for me.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 183 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Grayson cheerfully greeted me with his usual "Hey, Mom" when I called this evening.

He couldn't remember what he had done all day at the clinic nor what he had been doing when I called. I asked him to look around the room to get a clue what he had been doing. He remembered he had finished eating "lunch". It was dinner actually but close enough for a successful memory path. While he couldn't remember what he ate, with encouragement he turned to the RA and asked what dinner consisted of and relayed it to me. He and one of the roommates collaborated again on dinner preparation. Grayson was responsible for cooking the steaks. He selected the seasoning and chose bread crumbs and garlic salt.

Following dinner they went for a walk with the RA and took out the trash. They got along fine all evening with no behavioral issues. This is an important improvement for many reasons. There are now three roommates in the apartment and there are occasions when there are only two RAs in the apartment. Tonight was one of those times. Obviously the goal is to decrease the need for one on one supervision – a sobering factor as we look toward reintegrating Grayson into a "new normal" life.

Grayson completed his home therapy program (THP) tonight including answering the following questions:

Time – he checked the clock accurately

Date – stumbled, then with cueing looked at the calendar for the date

Address – still only remembers the street name not the number

Phone – remembered the area code and the last four digits (still can't remember the prefix)

The remainder of the THP included lists of three words or numbers and Grayson had to put them in logical order. He completed most of these fairly well. The other section consisted of a list of about six words and he was asked to re-arrange them into a meaningful sentence. Several times he simply (although accurately) repeated the list right back in the same order. After about 10 times he managed to focus and process adequately to construct a logical sentence. Sticking with this kind of exercise is by far the hardest part for Grayson at this point.

Before we hung up, I asked Grayson what he was going to do after we hung up. I thought he would say watch TV or go to bed. His response was, "Wait for you to arrive". He thought it was Friday and that we were coming to visit. Talk about giving me motivation to drive to Bakersfield every weekend!!

Tomorrow I go to the DMV to renew my driver license for the first time in 14 years. I've had automatic renewals for all those years. I am now 30 pounds heavier, have gray hair and really do not look forward to giving up my much younger looking picture.

14 years ago Grayson was turning 11. He was an avid reader, filled with energy, curiosity and promise. He was finishing fourth grade and was a Webelos Scout looking forward to summer camp.

There are no automatic renewals in life.

Grace and peace (and many more renewals) to each of you.

Regina

Day 182 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When I spoke with Grayson this evening, he was already in bed. Now that is a feat considering that I am 2 time zones ahead of him! We had a short but nice chat before I let him get back to the nice quiet snuggle time he enjoys before he drifts off to sleep.

I had previously said that I would give you all a "data dump" from the patient conference that we had last Tuesday. Tonight I will review the report from physical therapy. On the positive side, the area of physical strength and abilities is where Grayson has had the most significant improvement since his incident. He is now able to walk safely. He is able to tolerate 15 to 20 minutes on the treadmill at 2 ½ MPH, less time at increased speeds. Overall on physical ability, on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being "normal", Grayson is a 4.

Grayson's physical therapist has noticed that Grayson has difficulty processing certain things when time is a factor in success – not speed, but time. Grayson currently has an extremely poor sense of time and timing – a far cry from the Grayson we all remember from his days in musical theatre. These things include movements to environment, such as hitting a baseball, singing in rhythm, or turning a car. His therapist has started him on an exercise regimen three times a week of exercises that tie physical movement and action to the beat of a metronome. In the first few weeks of these exercises Grayson has improved from an initial score of 2 out of 50 to a current score of 8 out of 50. This is a significant improvement in a few weeks, but considering that you and I are somewhere in the high 40's, it also gives an indication of how much of a deficit that Grayson has to overcome.

I am currently at the Boeing Leadership Center in St Louis and will be here all week, so you will get the opportunity to hear Regina's voice for a wonderful change of pace the next few days. I don't say it often enough, but I can't imagine a better partner to be with on this journey – one that we never envisioned or wanted, but have been called by God to travel.

And travel we have. This morning at 11:15 PT, we passed the 6 month mark of our journey. Grayson has made some remarkable progress, and we celebrate that success. He still has many, many challenges before him, and for those he needs all of our help and prayer. Thanks for all of the strength you have given us over these past 6 months. I can't imagine how we could have managed without it.

Pax!

Brant

Day 181 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It is Saturday – Road Trip! I was trying to catch up with work, the paying kind, the volunteer kind and the home kind, so I remained in Glendale. But the intrepid Regina drove over the Grapevine to spend time with Grayson.

She picked him up and they headed off to lunch at Sonic – a cheeseburger, Tater Tots and a peach shake (makes me hungry writing about it!) After lunch, there were errands that needed running, the first being a car wash. At this time of year, there seem to be enormous quantities of bugs in the air, and that translates directly to the windshield, especially as you pass through the farm country of the Southern San Joaquin Valley.

After the car wash, Regina and Grayson headed to Williams-Sonoma to return an item. After leaving the store, they wandered around the outdoor mall in the 90 degree spring heat for a while, soaking up some sun and having some quiet conversation. Well, Regina spoke and Grayson gave a few one and two word answers.

The next stop was McDonalds, where Regina and Grayson purchased a snack, and Regina brought out her laptop. She fired it up, and shared our photographs of yesterday's commencement exercises at USC. Grayson was quite interested, recognizing the places and many of the people. Regina said that it was wonderful to share that experience with him, especially since he couldn't be with us at that very familiar place on Austin's special day.

After Grayson tired of viewing pictures, they returned to the park by the residence and listened to music of Grayson's choosing for a while. Grayson was very quiet today. He spoke little, and was not very interactive. Perhaps this is yet another phase that we are passing through, but it is a bit uncomfortable.

After the music stop, they went back into the residence. There Grayson did his chores (sweep and mop the kitchen floor) before having a light dinner. Regina had brought along his high school graduation quilt, a loving milestone tradition started at our church with Grayson's graduating class in 2004. Grayson spent a long time looking at the quilt this afternoon and telling his residential assistant (RA) about each square. When Regina asked him if he wanted her to fold it up or leave it on his bed, he said to fold it up and take it home. Regina asked him why, and his response was, "Keep it safe."

Grayson had an outing tonight, so after this he walked to "transportation" to hop a bus for another comedy improv show. Regina waved good-bye as he headed off to see the show.

Another good day.

Pax!

Brant

Day 180 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I'll take a little detour today to talk about another one of my children for a bit, because today really belonged to Austin. Today he earned his bachelor of science in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Southern California, and is now an official Trojan Alumnus. He wanted to go to USC his entire life, and he did. Now, in the words of the dean of the Viterbi School of Engineering, he and his fellow engineers "have completed the most rigorous and most challenging course of study at the university." We are so very proud of Austin and the work that he completed today. Here is a picture of Austin and his proud parents, and another of all of us including his girlfriend, Xixi.

The day was also a bittersweet one. After 6 years and two students, we no longer have a built in excuse to visit campus, other than to replenish my supply of t-shirts! The time has rushed by, and there is no way to turn the clock back. So ready or not, here we go into the next phase of our life with Austin, now more as observers. We've been practicing that for the last few years – one of the gifts of the college experience.

Grayson, the first of our Trojan children, went to the movies tonight, and has not returned at the time of this writing. We will all have to wait until tomorrow to see what exciting film he saw.

In honor of the USC Class of 2010 and all members of the Trojan family, I will close tonight a little differently.

Fight On!

Brant

Day 179 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Grayson called and wished me a happy birthday! I suspect that my lovely wife reminded him, since Grayson can't remember a lot, but it was great to hear his voice say the words. I know it was genuine, and I also know that he just can't remember. But he was genuine, and that meant a lot to me.

While a little late, the Mother's Day card that Grayson bought for Regina arrived in the mail today. We are there so often on Sundays that I expect the staff assumed we would be there this past Sunday. Here is a scan of the card with Grayson's own signature so you can see for yourself.

Tomorrow is a big day for the Reed family. Austin will receive his bachelor of science in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Southern California. Grayson signed a card for Austin last week to congratulate his little brother who was so inspired as to follow him to USC. Here is a picture from move-in day for Austin in 2006.

Pax!

Brant

Day 178 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When Grayson returned home from the clinic today, after his normal rest period, he spent a full hour doing his therapeutic home program (THP). Today he again remembered his address for the orientation question part of the program!

This evening there also was a visit from the regular "dog lady". She brought her large dog by for the residents to see and pet. Grayson enjoyed this today, as he seems to each time she comes.

I'm happy to report that Grayson ate all of his dinner tonight! This is good news, and perhaps Grayson will turn the corner on his weight loss. After dinner, Grayson's regular chore was to vacuum. He did this then helped by putting away the folded laundry. He finished his evening with a little bit of TV before getting ready for bed.

Pax!

Brant

Day 177 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today we had our monthly patient conference with the therapists and the staff at the Centre for Neuro Skills. Our two hour telecom covered the full gamut of the regimen of Grayson's rehabilitation and activity, as well as his performance scores on various aspects of his recovery. These monthly conferences are intellectually fascinating, emotionally wrenching and absolutely necessary. As always, I will share details of the conference in the coming days.

Today Grayson returned from the clinic and had a good afternoon. First he made his lunch for Wednesday to get that chore out of the way. Then he went and picked up the mail. He was very happy that there was a letter from Lauren, and there was a picture with it. After the mail run, he settled in to chores. Tonight while the chicken for dinner was defrosting, he vacuumed. After the vacuuming, he sat down with his residential assistant (RA) and did his therapeutic home program (THP). Tonight was the first time any of us can remember that he remembered his address (the apartment, not his home!) This is an important issue should he become separated from the group that he know where "home" is and be able to communicate it.

After the chicken was defrosted, the RA helped Grayson prepare and put it into the oven. They made a vegetable and rice, to go with the chicken and Grayson had dinner. After clean-up, it was off to the Swain Center, the rec center, for Karaoke Night, a favorite of Grayson's. Grayson and his RA were early birds, and they played Ping Pong while waiting for others to arrive. When some others arrived, Grayson suddenly left the game and became engaged in a physical conflict with another patient. The RAs stepped in to stop it, and Grayson left the center and returned to his apartment with his RA. We are taught how to behave as we grow up, and what behaviors are acceptable, and which are not. One of the consequences of brain injury is a removal of the natural "checks" that we are conditioned to apply when we are given a situation. Those "checks" are gone for Grayson, and he will need to relearn them.

Another consistently inconsistent day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 176 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear friends and family

When I spoke with Grayson this evening, he was already in bed, and didn't want his residential assistant (RA) to turn the light on. He was in bed, but he wasn't sleeping yet, and wanted to talk with me for a bit. Conversation with Grayson these days is not about deep intellectual topics as they once were, or asking advice on how to solve a problem, or even to discuss interesting "stuff". Today conversation is just about making a connection – demonstrating love – making sure that Grayson knows that someone cares. When his RA asked if he wanted to talk with me, Grayson said "yes" and made a personal connection. It's all about meeting someone where they are – and we met.

Today Grayson and his roommate teamed up to make dinner, under the watchful eyes and guidance of their respective RAs. This was a first in my recollection. To respect privacy, we'll refer to Grayson's roommate as "Fred". Fred was responsible to boil the water and make the pasta, and Grayson was responsible to "make" (warm up) the meat sauce and (heat) the garlic bread. I'm not quite sure how it fit in, but a vegetable was made also. This place is pretty good about getting balanced nutrition in these guys! After everything was prepared, Grayson and Fred sat down to eat. Grayson finished all of his food and asked for more. This is great news, as he is currently down 60 pounds from his emergency room admission, and is now at the bottom of the recommendation for his height.

After dinner the roomies did chores – Grayson the vacuuming and Fred cleaned the bathroom (remember that Grayson did it yesterday. I need these guys at my house – with their RAs of course!). Grayson's vacuuming was not too good, and the RA had to help him with what is called "hand-over hand" – the RA put's his hand over Grayson's to guide the vacuum where it needs to go. Remember, this is all about building life skill patterns, not about how well the task is accomplished.

After the chores, Grayson and his RA went for a walk around the grounds, while Fred and his RA picked up the mail. Grayson or his roommate picks up the mail daily. If you are interested in sending Grayson a note or a picture, email me and I'll send you his address – I'm sure that he would love to hear from you!

Pax!

Brant

Day 175 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We weren't in Bakersfield, so we were not with Grayson today. We attended our own church today – only one of a small handful of times since last November. How shocked we were that we were part of the sermon! The sermon was about peace, and Pastor said that he was inspired by our ability in times of incredible adversity to be at peace. While flattered, we tend to think that we are simply doing the best job we can to hold it together, and don't think of ourselves as particularly inspirational. God provides the inspiration and the strength, and his angels on earth remind us of that and show us every day with their good works. Thanks to all of you at Salem, and around the world, for showing us your love.

I spoke with Grayson this evening, and he had a good day. He slept in late, as there was no pressing need to get up. The rest I'm sure did him good, considering how tired he was yesterday. This afternoon, he spent a fair amount of time scrubbing the bathroom to get it ship shape. If you have ever seen the residences, the places are always very clean. This is a good thing!

After the bathroom cleaning, Grayson proceeded to make dinner – chicken fajitas with rice. After dinner and dishes, he did his therapeutic home program (THP). Then he swept the kitchen floor. Well, he tried to sweep the floor. Like an incident a few weeks ago, he sort of swept at the floor, not making contact. His residential assistant (RA) cued him and helped him understand how to sweep the floor, then Grayson did a fine job. When all of the chores were done, he had about 30 minutes to enjoy some TV until it was time for bed.

To all mothers out there, I wish you a blessed day. I am grateful for all each of you do for your children, and you are all a gift from God to all of us.

Pax!

Brant

Day 174 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Regina and I took a special visitor up to see Grayson – Regina's father, Howard – a.k.a. Papa Tutu. Grayson was very happy to see his last remaining grandparent, especially since he lives on the Big Island of Hawaii. The last time Grayson and Howard saw each other was during our visit there last August.

The first order of business today was lunch. We went to Chipotle and had a wonderful time, basking in the warm spring sun outdoors as we enjoyed our food. After our leisurely lunch, we went to The Park at River Walk where we continued our outdoor day.

At the park, we found a covered area with park benches that we used as our base of operations. From here we spent time doing several things. First we worked on knots, always good for memory and finger dexterity. Papa Tutu, a WW II Navy veteran, shared some of his expertise to enhance the fun. Then we spent some time throwing and catching a ball, always good work for hand/eye coordination. Next we spent some time reviewing vocabulary from SAT Prep Flash Cards, something that Grayson did very well with.

After the vocabulary work, I decided to try something. I asked Grayson if he could run and race me to a nearby tree. He said yes, and we took off. It was the first time I have seen Grayson run since his incident. I was quite pleased, and it shows that he is still improving. We finished our day at the park with a walk, before heading off to Cold Stone for a treat.

Unfortunately, Grayson was very "low energy" today. He was disengaged for much of the day, and we had a devil of a time keeping him interested in doing much more than resting. Such is the case with brain injury.

After we returned to the residence, we watched Grayson, under the direction of his residential assistant (RA), prepare his dinner. He was heading off to a play at Bakersfield High School this evening as we piled back into the car for the drive back home. When I spoke with Grayson and his RA later, the play was quite funny, and he enjoyed himself immensely. The lesson her for all of us is that live theatre, especially at the high school level, is worth watching. There is a lot of good stuff going on out there, as all of us that watched Grayson on the stage can attest.

Pax!

Brant

Day 173 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

It is after midnight and we just finished unloading the last trailer load of furniture and boxes from Lauren's apartment into our garage.

We missed calling Grayson this evening but we look forward to seeing him in the morning after his grocery shopping. Tomorrow will be special as we will have Papa Tutu (my father) with us as we travel to Bakersfield. Grayson hasn't seen Papa Tutu since our trip to Hawaii last August.

May each of you have a wonderful weekend with some part of your own family.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 172 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When Grayson arrived home tonight, he was prompted to get to his chores quickly as there was a special event this evening. After being cued to look at his picture task list, he took out the trash and mopped the bathroom and hall floor. After finishing the chores he cleaned up and helped prepare dinner.

Dinner prep was a little challenging tonight, as Grayson poured a whole bag of Tater Tots on the baking sheet. He likes Tater Tots, but perhaps that was a bit much for one person. After getting angry then striking out at his favorite residential assistant (RA) for trying to help by putting the extra back in the bag, she convinced him that it was OK and that it was way too much for one person. He then helped her put the excess away. While the RA skillfully defused the situation, it just points out one of the issues with brain injury – the inability to adequately communicate, and socially inappropriate behavior when frustrated.

With the dinner prep issues behind them, Grayson laid out fish sticks on the baking pan and made the vegetables by himself for a quick meal. He ate and cleaned up, then it was off to the special event for the night – a live comedy improv performance.

Grayson had a blast at the show. They asked for themes from the audience, and Grayson shouted out one that they performed. During the intermission Grayson ordered and paid for a milk shake – practicing a real-world skill. They returned to the residence at 9:30, and Grayson tossed in a load of laundry (after being cued) then got ready for bed. I caught him just before he crawled in and spoke with him for a few minutes. When I asked him what he had done tonight, he said, "Improv!" When I asked him if it was funny or serious, he said "funny." How about that – he remembered!

Pax!

Brant

Day 171 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

There are few things in life that are more important than family. Regina's father arrived in LA from his home on the Big Island of Hawaii Monday night. Tonight was the first time we could gather together Regina's brother and sister, and their spouses, to celebrate the arrival of this wonderful man. We talked, we laughed, we played, and we had lots of food!

At around 8:45 tonight, I called Grayson. He was tired and in bed, but he wanted to talk for a bit. When we finished talking, he wanted to talk to Regina's father. To Grayson, he is Papa Tutu, and always has been. Papa Tutu is Grayson's last remaining grandparent. After talking to Papa Tutu, Grayson spoke with Regina's sister Rita for a bit. After that, he was spent and turned in for the night.

As a result of the family gathering, I was unable to collect a report for the day from the residential assistant (RA) to share with you here. As I said at the beginning of this post, there are few things in life more important than family. It is our joy to include you in our family tonight.

Pax!

Brant and Regina

Day 170 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When Grayson arrived back from the clinic today, he was offered the opportunity to do a task from his picture checklist. He didn't wish to do anything, so his residential assistant (RA) allowed him to do his normal 30 minutes of resting on the couch. After the 30 minutes was up, Grayson still didn't want to do any chores, but at least he hopped up and went to the checklist to look! His RA encouraged him to do something so he could go on "personal errand" night, as Grayson wanted to accomplish a few things. His RA suggested a walk, and Grayson thought that was a good idea.

Before they left the apartment, the RA asked Grayson to check the time. They walked around the complex, shot a few hoops, then while they were walking, the RA started asking orientation questions from the therapeutic home program (THP). When it came to the question, "What time is it?" Grayson remembered the answer. Because there was no calendar, he was unsuccessful with the date.

When they returned to the apartment, Grayson helped make dinner – fish sticks, mashed potatoes and a vegetable. When Regina spoke with Grayson later this evening, he said that dinner was Chinese food.

After policing the kitchen, Grayson headed off to "personal errand" night with several other residents. Tonight he wanted a haircut, and he waited patiently for three of his fellow residents to go ahead of him, then it was his turn. According to Regina, he said that it was "short on the sides, but still curly on top." That must be the definition of a good haircut! After the haircut, they shopped for something else – the RA was very vague with Regina about what. I wonder why they wouldn't tell his Mom?

Just another day at the Centre!

Pax!

Brant

Day 169 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today after Grayson arrived back at the residence from the clinic, he had his usual 30 minutes of rest (today he sat on the couch and read the National Geographic Magazine), then he got to his chores. Today is bathroom cleaning day, one of MY all time favorites. He was not at all interested in doing that job today, and he got frustrated with his residential assistant (RA) when she asked him to finish, and he struck at her. She is quite adept at redirecting his frustration, and had him chill for a while on the couch with his magazine. After that, he was helpful and cooperative for the rest of the evening.

Generally, when Grayson makes dinner, he helps his RA. Tonight, Grayson did most of the work himself, while his RA cued him with directions and sequence. Tonight he made a hamburger and a salad. With the usual reminders, he rinsed his dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

After the dinner clean-up, Grayson took out the trash and picked up the mail. There was a letter from Lauren in the mailbox today, and he was quite excited to receive it. After reading the letter, he went on a walk around the facility several times.

After the walk, it was time for his therapeutic home program (THP). After his orientation questions (he still can't get the street number correct for his facility), he did two different exercises. In the first exercise, he was shown two pictures then asked to describe similarities and differences. Picture pairs included things like a flower pot and a vase, a policeman and a fireman, and a radio and a television. He was able to correctly describe the similarities and differences on each pair. The second THP was listening to a sentence and then answering questions about it. He was able to answer all 15 correctly.

Grayson's RA then asked him if he would like to write a letter back to Lauren, and Grayson said yes. As you may recall from previous posts, Grayson's hand tremors, while improving, still make it impossible for him to write successfully. His RA placed her hand over his and guided him to write the words he spoke. The letter was addressed and put in the mail, then it was time to chill for a few minutes of television before bed.

All in all, I think that today was a pretty good day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 168 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Grayson had the wonderful opportunity to sleep in! This is perhaps the first time since arriving here that he was able to do so. Regina and I had another commitment to attend to, so we didn't have the staff drag him (literally) out of bed to get ready for church. Tomorrow he is back on schedule, but today he was blessed with some extra sleep!

This evening, Grayson chose to go to the 5:00 PM service at the local Foursquare Church with several of his fellow residents. We were pleased that he chose to spend some of his Sunday voluntarily going to church, as this has not always been the case!

After he returned home, Grayson helped his residential assistant (RA) prepare dinner. Tonight he had steak (broiled), baked potatoes and mixed greens. After cleaning up dinner dishes, Grayson did his chores – sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor. This was the first time we had the opportunity to actually see Grayson perform household chores. He had some difficulty putting the broom on to the floor to actually sweep, but with a lot of encouragement and direction, he was able to get most of the dirt gathered in a pile. Grayson then was handed a wet Swiffer to mop the floor. He got the Swiffer on much of the floor, but it was only with a lot of prompting and pointing that he was able to be minimally effective. The objective is to train patterns, and every day is a lesson. Unfortunately, he is far from independently completing these tasks at this point.

Next was the therapeutic home program (THP). He did quite well on the orientation questions – what city he was in, who is the President, the name of the facility, why he was there (brain injury), the date and the time. In the following set of questions he was presented with three things, and he needed to give the common thread. For example: strawberry, peach, banana – all are fruit. Ford, Nixon, Lincoln – presidents. We all cracked up when the question was, "Bill, George, Thomas" – Grayson responded, "presidents"! I know that they were looking for the word, "names", but he was also correct.

After the RA finished, I asked some questions of my own to test long term memory. In the same format, I asked, "monomial, polynomial, integral", and Grayson responded, "Math". I asked him what a USB is, and he responded, "universal serial bus". He also correctly answered several other computer related questions, like what a router does, listing of operating systems, and understanding of an IP address. He remembers the computer stuff!

We shared out goodbyes with lots of love, grateful for another weekend together.

Pax!

Brant

Day 167 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

When we arrived today, Grayson was ready to go! His grocery shopping was done, and he and his residential assistant (RA) had labeled and put all of the food away. First on the agenda was to deal with some errands. This little bit of "normal Saturday" we now find ourselves accomplishing in Bakersfield, since that is where we usually ARE on Saturdays. Having Grayson along with us allows him to be in the community doing "normal" things with us, and allows us to be with him.

While on our errands, we usually have time to stop for an ice cream which Grayson always enjoys. Today it was Cold Stone, which is quite a favorite of his! While there, he thought that the cotton-candy ice cream sounded humorous, and pointed it out to me in a loud voice, as I was standing a bit away from him. A small girl stared up at Grayson – fascinated by his funny sounding voice, stuttering and poor diction – clearly realizing that he was "different". I smiled at her, and agreed with Grayson that the ice cream did sound fun, and asked him if he wanted to try some. After we left and went outside to enjoy our treats, I realized that it is entirely possible that depending on his level of recovery, Grayson's deficits may cause this sweet kid to be perceived as different by many, and require all of us to protect him for a very long time.

After the errands, it was off to the park to find adventure – the post brain injury kind. At the park we interspersed walking with several activities aimed at stimulating memory. The first was good-old Scout knots. Knot tying was always one of Grayson's best Scouting skills. I thought that it would be good for his finger dexterity, and his memory to do some practice. Today he was able to successfully tie a square knot without any instruction, but very slowly and deliberately for Grayson. When it came to tying the bowline, he just put his head down, something we have noticed when he becomes tired of an activity.

The next activity was built around some old SAT Prep Flash Cards we found recently. We divided the activity into parts – one math, the other verbal. "Flash" cards was a bit of a misnomer for the math, as most problems required you to work out an answer. With Grayson unable to write, this is a challenge. I was able to locate a few that he could work in his head, and some other definition items that he could explain, such as "What is the definition of an integer?"

The second part of the Flash Card exercise was the SAT verbal work. We presented sentences with grammatical errors, and he had to find the error. After a few minutes of that (he has the attention span of a young child) we shifted to vocabulary. Here I showed him a word and asked for a definition. He did very well on the few we did before needing to move on. Two words that I remember were "repel" and "revive". He was able to define both successfully, along with many others.

Between most of these activities we walked. Grayson's pace is now quite good, and he generally kept up with us while we were moving at a ¾ full throttle. Not bad! This is where the physical therapy is really paying off.

After the park, we went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner. We had a wonderful dinner, and Grayson ordered Shrimp Scampi Pizza – pretty memorable I thought. (It was really tasty also – I tried it!) On our way home from the restaurant, we asked him what he had for dinner and he said, "I don't know." Oh, the insidious nature of brain injury.

While deeply saddened for the losses of capability, we continue to be heartened by small glimmers of progress. Today we had the opportunity to witness both.

Pax!

Brant