Day 136 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

According to his residential assistant (RA), today was a great day for Grayson. The RA explained to Grayson how he was scored on his activities of daily living (ADL) and that the better the score, the sooner that he could go home. That motivated him this evening, and he did his chores by himself with little or no prompting. He stayed in the kitchen and helped to prepare dinner, he did his laundry, checked the mail, and at one point he even asked to do his therapeutic home program (THP) – his homework. Now that is a switch!

Tonight his THP's included orientation and cognitive activity. He continues to improve on his orientation questions (where he is, what is the date, etc.), and tonight his cognitive questions required him to listen to a factoid then answer a question on it. For example, "The blue birds fly faster than the red birds. In a race, what bird do you expect to reach the finish first?" This is a good exercise for working memory.

After chores, dinner and THP's, Grayson went with several other residents to the rec center for a long night of karaoke. He and the other residents sang for over 2 hours. He came back, and went immediately to bed.

A good and pleasant day, work with purpose followed by fun with music. I'm not sure that I could ask for more! Meds change again tomorrow – let's pray that the adjustment will be quick.

Pax!

Brant

Day 135 – Grayson’s Journey

Our dear family and friends,

Grayson had just snuggled into bed when I called this evening.

He didn't remember what he had done during the day but said his day was "good" and asked about mine. (Sure glad we taught him good manners when he was younger).

He described his dinner as hamburger, fries, and Mr. Pibb, all eaten "somewhere else". In actuality, he had meatloaf, vegetables and juice which he prepared at home. Ah, the challenges of the recovering brain. He had a tough time getting the name "Mr. Pibb" out but easily sang it to me on request.

He described the weather as cold with no rain (it was in the 50's when he returned from his walk this evening).

Grayson has been an avid reader since he was quite small. In the early stages of his injury/recovery we had no idea whether he was four or 24 mentally. I brought books such as Good Night Moon to see if he could follow along with my reading aloud. You can imagine how excited I was when he could. He would try to turn the page when I finished each one. As the weeks and months have gone by, we progressed up to Harry Potter and selected National Geographic magazines. I know he's not reading them thoroughly but exposure, availability and desire is surely the first step. The staff said he seems to be reading them or at least looking at them (still not sure why they don't ask him questions about what he's reading).

When I asked if he remembered discussing an invasion of Canada with Brant yesterday he said "no" but told me he had started to read The Federalist Papers which I left for him a couple of weeks ago. I'm not sure if he really has or not but we will discuss it again tomorrow night. I pray that his love of reading can be stirred again. Think of all the wonderful benefits.

The RA that worked with him tonight was very encouraging. After helping Grayson make dinner, he encouraged him to complete his THPs (therapeutic home program) by promising the reward of seeing "Sherlock Holmes" in the recreation room. The TV went off and Grayson was able to focus and complete them quite well. The movie was a great motivation. The RA also was astute enough to break up the homework into separate sessions. He determined that Grayson loves to be outdoors and so they went to sit by the pool area and work undisturbed by roommates, TV, or other distractions.

In addition to various memory and orientation worksheets, they keep introducing new concepts to challenge his mental processing. Here is a sample of one type of exercise from tonight. Visualize a circle and a square. Draw a picture of the circle. Draw a picture of the square to the right of the circle. Shade in the circle. And so on. He did quite well.

As I was thanking this staff person whom we've not yet met, he said something that made my heart sing. He indicated that he really is enjoying working with Grayson. "Grayson is a cool guy. Like the kind of person that would be my friend."

We all touch each other.

Chag Sameach to my Jewish friends. Grace and peace to you all.

Regina

Day 134 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I spoke with Grayson this evening and he was lying in bed resting. He was in good spirits and glad to hear from me. When I asked him what he had done today, I got the usual answer – "Not much." Unlike a teenager that would just rather not talk, he really doesn't remember what he did earlier. When I asked him what he had for dinner, he said, "I don't remember." That darned short term memory, or lack of it, sure is a problem. After Grayson brought up the subject of an invasion of Canada, we talked awhile, well I talked and he listened, about the American invasion of "Canada" in 1775. After a bit, we concluded our chat and said good night. (For history buffs, the British province of Quebec was referred to as "Canada" in 1775. It was originally the French province of Canada before it was ceded to the British in the 1763 Treaty of Paris.)

Today marks 19 weeks since Grayson's incident. Grayson's body has mostly healed, but his brain has a long way to go. Your prayers for his continued healing are helping all of us to continue on this long road.

Pax!

Brant

Day 133 – Grayson’s Journey

Our dear family and friends,

Little things mean a lot.

This weekend Grayson's eyes lit up when we told him we had a gift for him. It was a black "Prep Tech" hat sent by Dr. Parker and designed by his friend Andy Chen. His exact response was, "Cool" and he proudly wore it all day, occasionally taking it off and looking at it. Not only does it protect him from sun burning his head in the intense Bakersfield sun but it reminds him that he is remembered and loved. He sends his thanks to both of his dear friends.

One of the wonderful and varied activities available to the residents of the center where Grayson is living is a ping pong table. What an inspiration. From my observation, it is terrific at working on hand-eye coordination and reaction time. An additional benefit is all bending, chasing, and retrieving of a bouncing runaway ball – an awesome balance exercise. I was encouraged by how quickly Grayson responded and that he determinedly chased the ball as it rolled under tables and chairs.

Earlier this evening he went for a walk with a staff person and came upon a basket ball activity with some other residents. He joined in and dribbled and passed the ball around for a while.

He was fairly verbal today and had no behavior issues other than refusing to do his homework. While we know how important homework is, I believe that refusing can also be a good sign of exercising choice and maintaining some control. I choose to think this way unless it becomes a pattern.

When we called him tonight he gave very short answers and then said, "Love you, talk to you later". The quick dismissal prompted Brant to ask if the television was on. Indeed it was and he was watching one of his favorite shows, "House". We didn't even try to compete with that.

I thank God for all the little things in Grayson's day today: a hat, ping pong, basketball, choices, and favorite TV shows. I also am thankful for all of the big things: continued insurance coverage, variety of therapies at a competent facility, friends and family who continue to hold us up with their love and care, Grayson's friends who don't forget about him, and a faith that allows us to take each day as the gift it is.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 132 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson's Saturday morning chores include grocery shopping, labeling and putting away the food. After all of that was completed today, we went out to lunch. Nothing fancy, but a burger and a root beer float at A&W was good!

Following lunch, we went to the Kern County Museum for a delightful afternoon that passed way quicker than I expected it to. This is a wonderful museum with about 75 period buildings, including the original hospital, county court house and jail, several rail cars, the train station, a dentist's office, many homes – you get the picture. There was also a large and fascinating interactive exhibit on the oil history of the area (Bakersfield still produces about 10% of the nation's oil.) All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Grayson was in cheerful spirits all day. He was not sleepy or lethargic, and we walked quite a bit around the museum. He was interested in the exhibits, and explored right along with us. Compared to the past few weeks, his speech clarity has become less understandable, and he stutters a lot more than he used to. This may be another reaction to the changing meds. We'll have to see how he adjusts to these changes over the next few weeks.

We concluded our day watching a movie back at the residence. Grayson chose Indiana Jones – Raiders of the Lost Ark, always a fun movie. Do you realize that the movie was released almost 30 years ago?

We ended our day with warm hugs and kisses, thankful for another day of God's blessings.

Pax!

Brant

Day 131 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Well, we drove up to Bakersfield late this afternoon, and Grayson went to the theatre. He has gone to more cultural events in the past 2 months than I have in the past 2 years! Since he was out, Regina and I went out to a nice dinner by ourselves in beautiful Bakersfield.

The play he saw was The Diary of Anne Frank. Grayson made the choice to see this dramatic presentation. When I spoke with him this evening before the play, he was excited about seeing it. I asked him if he remembered the story, and he did, but as he started telling me about and he became unintelligible. I inferred that he did remember the story, but that I just couldn't understand him. This may be a result of his changed medications. If he remembers anything about the play, I will pass it along in tomorrow's posting!

Regina and I are looking forward to seeing Grayson in the morning.

Pax!

Brant

Day 130 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had a good day. His residential assistant (RA) said that he was an angel today. When he returned from the clinic this afternoon, he chose his cleaning chore for the day – vacuuming. He then went about his afternoon routine of putting his lunch box away, resting for a bit and other tidbits. About 30 minutes later, before his RA went on her break, she asked Grayson what chore was he supposed to do today. He said, "Vacuuming". Hooray – successful recall of a short term memory item!

Grayson appears to have adjusted well to his change in one of his meds, as he has not been as drowsy at the clinic or at the residence. He focused on and completed his therapeutic home program (THP) quickly this afternoon, and did not resist or try and lay down to sleep. Over the next week, he will be weaned off of another med, so we are back on pins and needles to see what effects this change has!

Since Grayson got his chores and THP's done in time, he was able to go on the pizza outing today! At the pizza parlor he was on his best behavior. He stayed with his RA the entire time, he did not try to get up and leave or walk away from the group. He ate in a safe and controlled manner, and he drank his drink with a straw without consuming anything too fast. A pizza parlor is a place with a lot of commotion. The fact that Grayson could remain calm in the environment and not react with negative behaviors is really exciting.

This evening after my plane landed in Burbank, I spoke with Grayson. He was already in bed, but I got to hear the happy, "Hi Dad!" that I look forward to daily. He had a good day, and even though he couldn't communicate the details to me, he was in a good and happy mood, and that is contagious!

Pax!

Brant

Day 129 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I'm in St Louis on business travel this week, but I have spoken with Grayson every day. Because I have been out of town, you have had the privilege of reading the eloquent prose of my beautiful wife. She is quite an excellent writer, isn't she! I love the perspective that Regina brings to the blog.

Grayson had a low short-term memory day today. When I spoke with him at 4:30 PM his time, he had no memory of going to the clinic, riding the bus or any therapy today. As disappointing as that is, he has had some exciting short-term memory events over the past few days, so I hold out hope that today was an anomaly. We need to keep in mind that Grayson has been subjected to med changes over the past two weeks, and there may be some near term impact on both behavior and memory as he adjusts to those meds changes.

I fly home tomorrow, then Regina and I will visit Grayson over the weekend. The visit will give us a better handle as to how he is doing since our last visit. In a game of two steps forward and one backward, the important thing to remember is that there is still net progress!

Pax!

Brant

Day 128 – Grayson’s Journey

When I called Grayson this evening, he came to the phone with his usual, "Hey, Mom". After asking him several questions and getting "not much" as answers, I asked him if he'd eaten dinner. First he said, "Yes" and then quickly changed his answer to "No". Since it was already 7:00 and he usually eats earlier than that, I asked him again and he said, "No". I asked if he was hungry (even though we're not sure he can feel hunger) and he answered in the affirmative. So I encouraged him to ask his RA what he had for dinner. "Hey, what did I have for dinner?" he yelled across the room. "No one said anything" he reported back to me. I asked him to get up, walk over to an RA and ask again and then told him I would wait for him to come back and tell me the answer. I heard him speaking with someone in the background and he came back on the line and said, "Dinner's not ready yet".

I realized that I hadn't trusted that he remembered correctly. I assumed that he had already eaten and had forgotten (as nearly every day previously) not only what he ate but even that he had eaten. How delighted I am to be wrong. Three cheers for another memory "inch".

We exchanged other small talk about his day and I tried to have him recall some of the therapies he had at the clinic today. All he could remember was that he rode in the van, ate lunch, and sat and waited a lot. Memory is a funny thing. Sometimes you can reach right out and retrieve accurately. Other times, there is nothing there when you reach out. I can only imagine how frustrating that is when someone expects you to have an answer.

When we hung up, we shared our usual farewell exchange. "I love you". "I love you more". Sigh … the simplest joy, so often taken for granted.

Grace and peace,

Regina

Day 127 – Grayson’s Journey

When Austin was playing football in high school, he had a team t-shirt that read "On this team we fight for that inch".

When I called Grayson this evening there were several inches that made my heart sing.

First I asked what he was doing. His usual answer is "not much". Tonight, however, his answer was, "the TV is on". I asked if he remembered going to the doctor with us this morning and he not only remembered but he told me it was a cardiologist. He also remembered that there were tacos made for dinner. (In actuality he had fish but his roommates did have tacos.)

To someone else this may seem a mundane, insignificant conversation. I, however, am celebrating!!! These are all accessing short term memory - from an hour ago to 12 hours ago. Additionally, they were accessed with the distraction of the TV being on (no small feat for Grayson). This is, indeed, cause for celebration. As Brant has mentioned before, accessing the short term memory is a critical skill in the ability to build any kind of meaningful new learning. These pathways are being exercised in countless ways each day during his therapies at the clinic and at his residence. We also make sure to exercise them during our weekend visits and our daily phone calls. Thank God for caring, educated, devoted and patient therapists and staff.

His RA mentioned how cooperative he was this evening. Not only did he make his lunch but vacuumed his living room and bedroom with very little encouragement. She also stepped up the difficulty of his home therapy questions from yesterday. Yesterday's questions were of the "If this, then what?" type. For example, "If food is left in the oven too long, what happens?" His answers were usually one or two words ("Burned food"). Tonight he was given situations and asked what HE would do. For example, "If you ordered books on the phone and they delivered the wrong ones, what would you do?" He gave appropriate and thoughtful answers ("I'd call them and get the right ones"). This required more than just one word answers. Another sign of improvement in thought processing AND verbal response. Day by day, inch by inch progress continues to be made.

Please join us in thanking God for inches.

Grace and peace.

Regina

Day 126 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We spent the day with Grayson today. We went to church in the morning, then spent the afternoon having lunch, shopping for clothes and exploring. Grayson was very cooperative today. While he was not extremely verbal, he did communicate when asked questions.

While out this afternoon, Grayson made several choices. He chose where and what to eat and drink. He needed some clothes, and he made choices there also. When we came up here in January, the weather was cold. Now we are approaching the 100 degree summer temperatures and the wool pea coat we brought is far less important than necessity of acquiring new shorts! Besides, any shorts that already Grayson had were purchased when he was 50 pounds heavier. We successfully purchased new shorts, and Grayson chose the style and the color.

When we returned to the residence, Grayson worked his therapeutic home program (THP) with his residential assistant (RA). Today during the orientation questions, he was able to successfully tell us the year, the date and the president, among other things. There were several if/then questions that he also did well on – What would happen if you leave your food in the oven too long? What would happen if you leave your bicycle in the driveway? My favorite was the answer to, "What would happen if your car ran out of gas?" Grayson answered, "Call the Auto Club!"

As many of you know, Grayson was working at his high school, Flintridge Preparatory School, at the time of his incident. Prep was the place where Grayson had so much success, and performed and starred in several productions during his middle school and high school years. This weekend was the annual school musical – the biggest theatrical event of the year at Prep. We were handed a program from the production this weekend, and there at the bottom of the production credits, was the line, "And a standing ovation to Grayson Reed, Class of 2004." We were touched beyond words, and I had to choke back tears again as I reread it. Thank you Prep family for all of your love and support.

Pax!

Brant

Day 125 – Grayson’s Journey

Today five angels came to spend the day with Grayson.

Five of Grayson's closest female friends in high school spent an absolutely beautiful day with him. They shared a picnic in the park and fed him tangerines. They walked around the lake and laughed over old and treasured memories. They poured over their yearbooks with him and told stories. Later, back at his residence, they sang karaoke for at least an hour and a half – full voice, with harmony and dance breaks.

These sweet, young women helped to fill his day with smiles and laughter and song. The perfect day.

As I listened to them reminisce about musicals, plays and concerts they had performed and worked together, I remembered how important each of them had been to Grayson. What a part of his heart each of them has filled. The love they shared with him today is possible because they have been sharing it since middle school.

A wise man (Dr. Robert Parker) keeps reminding us that our greatest gift to Grayson is to meet him at his point of need. Those words mean more and more to me each day. Not where he was, not where we had hoped he'd be at 24, but where he is today. As Grayson works through his frustration to regain some control over his thoughts, words, motions and responses, it filled me to overflow to see him bathed in the love and attention of genuine friends. They came and met him figuratively and literally at his point of need.

These friends and the incredible faculty and staff of Flintridge Prep continue to be among those we consider to be great blessings in our lives.

Grace and peace.

Regina

Day 124 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Late this afternoon we drove up to Bakersfield to visit Grayson. We visited him in his apartment this evening. He was having great difficulty focusing and being productive. He was way off of his game, and had so much trouble concentrating on his therapeutic home program (THP), that he spent at least 45 extra minutes just trying to avoid the task rather than spending the 15 minutes it would take to do it. The likely cause to this was a reduction in one of his meds that occurred late yesterday. This is such a difference from last weekend – the roller coaster is still taking us for a ride! Let's hope that the rest of the weekend improves, and that he adjusts positively to his new med regimen.

We brought several movies with us for Grayson to choose to watch this weekend. The one Grayson chose to watch this evening was Young Frankenstein (or should I say, "Fraank-en-steen). While the movie is very funny, hearing Grayson laugh out loud was truly heartwarming. Guten nacht, Frau Blucher! (And what comes next?) Thanks to Mel Brooks, the evening ended on a happy note.

Pax!

Brant

Day 123 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

"The theatre, the theatre. What's happened to the theatre!" (Does anyone remember what film that quote is from?)

Grayson attended the theatre tonight. Our man-about-town saw Cabaret - or the first part, at least. The true critic, Grayson asked to leave at intermission because he found it boring. According to his residential assistant (RA) that was with him, it was a rather poor performance, and the RA was also quite tired of it! So back to the residence they came at the interval, and Grayson went straight to bed. Given that they got back at 10:15, I'm not surprised!

Tonight Grayson got to manage his money for the first time. He was handed an envelope with the money for the outing. He purchased his own ticket and purchased his own soda at intermission before leaving. He had some difficulty holding the loose bills, and dropped several, but much more importantly, he had a new post-injury experience dealing with cash. (Yes, he did pick up the dropped money!)

Another good day, some new adventures, and some growth opportunities – not a bad Thursday!

Pax!

Brant

Day 122 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had a good day today. According to his residential assistant (RA), he was well behaved all evening. He did his chores with minimal prompting, and did his therapeutic home program (THP) before dinner.

I used the word "prompting" and I think it would be informative for you to understand how and why that is used. On all of Grayson's activities of daily living (ADL) he is graded by his RA. The lowest scores are given if the task has to be accomplished for him. The highest score is given if he accomplishes the task with no reminder, hint or prompting. If he were to come back to the residence and start doing laundry because it is Tuesday, then he would get the highest score possible for that ADL. If he had to be reminded that it was Tuesday, a lower score. If he had to be reminded that it was Tuesday and to check his list of chores, yet again a lower score. If in addition to all of this, his RA pointed to the washing machine, a lower score. If the RA said, "Grayson, it's time to do your laundry", a lower score again. If the RA had to do the laundry for him, he would receive the lowest score. (Why didn't I have this when the kids were teenagers?) The compilation of these scores gives us a picture of how dependent or independent Grayson is. Tracked over time, you can actually measure progress.

Tonight Grayson chose not to help prepare dinner (and I'm sure that he received a low score on that ADL). He also had to be reminded several times after the RA prepared his meal, to eat his food. Repeating what I said yesterday, I'm afraid that his loss of taste and smell is affecting his appetite. We will continue to monitor it.

Pax!

Brant

Day 121 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today, Grayson enjoyed a good evening at the rec center as they had a going away party for one of the patients. Cake and ice cream was served, and Grayson was the entertainment as he broke into song with the karaoke machine. Grayson's residential assistant (RA) told the activities director that the karaoke machine was the best investment he has ever made. I'm sure Grayson would agree!

Grayson had a very small appetite again this evening, and he barely ate any of his food. I am starting to fear that his loss of his ability to taste or smell may have an impact on his appetite. The staff is continuing to monitor it, but so far he is still within the healthy limits for his height.

It is hard to believe, but we passed the four month mark today since Grayson's cardiac arrest and subsequent brain injury. Grayson went into the hospital in the fall, and spring begins next week. In looking back, the first 10 weeks we spent in three different hospitals. The last 7 weeks we have seen some stability as Grayson has settled into his rehab facility and their routine. We have seen some miraculous recovery in his physical abilities, his long term memory and his speech. We have recently seen the first improvement in short term and working memory. We continue to see slow improvement in his cognitive abilities, but improvements that will allow him to operate without supervision are still a long way off. We have also witnessed probable permanent deficits in his senses of taste, smell and temperature. All in all, I did not think that the outcome would be this good last November, and so I thank God for giving this much of Grayson back to us. We continue to pray that we get a little more back each week.

Pax!

Brant

Day 120 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

First some adminsitrivia. We have made a change to the format of our daily title. "Grayson's Condition" just didn't feel right anymore. Regina and I discussed it on our way to Bakersfield this weekend, and decided to change it to "Grayson's Journey" as more fitting the longer term nature of the recovery.

As Regina mentioned yesterday, Grayson has shown some improvement in his short term memory. We mentioned early in the day on Sunday that some friends were coming to visit the following weekend, and we shared the names with him. Several hours later, when we asked him who was coming the next weekend, he was able to repeat back who was coming. This is huge, as it is starting to show that some short term memory is starting to return.

In a conversation with his case manager at the rehab facility today, we discussed Grayson's progress. Over the past two weeks, Grayson has improved in several areas. The most significant improvement has been in the area of cooperation and participation. That is significant because by participating, Grayson receives the benefit of the therapy.

Regina's blog posting yesterday reminded me of this musical setting of the Parable of the Prodigal Son that the boys and I performed at our church a few years back. Enjoy!

Pax!

Brant

Day 119 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

The absolute joy of spending the whole weekend with Grayson, Austin, Lauren and Brant and witnessing Grayson's memory improvement is still washing over me. There is nothing more I can say except to share today's gospel with you.

" 'For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate." Luke 15:24

To read the whole parable see Luke 15: 11 – 31.

Grace and peace to each of you,

Regina

Day 118 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

It has been a busy weekend for Grayson, and it's not over yet! Regina, Lauren, Austin, Xixi and I arrived Friday night. We had a short visit while Grayson prepared his dinner, then he was off to the grocery store for shopping on the one of the busses.

Normally grocery shopping is a Saturday morning task. Today instead of shopping, Grayson participated in the 3rd Annual Statewide Walk For Thought, a benefit for the California Brain Injury Association. Just a few months ago, it was unclear if he would walk. Today he walked in the event. What a special opportunity to raise the awareness of brain injury, and to help raise funds.

After he returned, Grayson joined us for a shopping trip for a few hours, as we helped Austin and Xixi get ready for their upcoming Mammoth ski trip. We returned to the residence and Grayson got to do some of his therapeutic home program (THP) questions with his resident assistant (RA) for about 30 minutes.

At around 4:00 PM, two friends from USC's Bovard Auditorium staff came and joined us for the rest of the day. We went to the rec center and sang karaoke, told stories, talked and laughed until dinnertime. We all went to dinner and had a lovely time until it was time for the USC friends to head home, and Grayson to go to bed. It was a wonderful evening, and Grayson was well behaved the entire time, though his judgment and social grace is still a bit off. He is still a friendly and loving guy – we'll cut him some slack on the social grace part. The judgment simply requires supervision for now.

So you see, it was a busy day. Tomorrow the weekend continues with church in the morning, followed by some adventure in the afternoon!

Pax!

Brant

Day 117 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends,

What a difference a day (or a week) makes. Last weekend Grayson was primarily non-verbal. At best answering questions in one or two word responses. Today he was quite animated and verbal. When we arrived he hugged us enthusiastically with a big grin on his face. In response to the question, "How was your day", however, he responded, "Not good. They are trying to give me medicine that is not good for me." He was convinced the second medication the staff was trying to give him was poison. We had walked right into a stand-off.

At this point my parenting instincts kicked in and Grayson and I had a nice talk. I acknowledged that it was his choice to take the medication or not and that the staff was trying to give him good medicine. He did not agree. I explained it was a good medicine for his heart. He still refused to take it. I asked if he remembered his two prior cardiac doctors. He did. I asked if he thought they were good doctors who wanted him to be healthy. He agreed. I explained that his good doctors had talked to his current doctors and they all agreed this medication was good for him. He thought that was good. I asked him if he wanted to take the medication now or in two minutes. He said he would take it now. And he did.

I share this story with you because it illustrates how we are learning a new way to communicate with Grayson. Slowly, deliberately, and simply. Small increments at a time. Navigating putting clean sheets on his bed and preparing dinner were handled similarly. We treated him with respect, gave him choices, and praised him for cooperation.

The pace of life with Grayson is much different than before. That's not all bad. Every conversation is focused and careful. That's not all bad either. What we are learning is to appreciate each moment we are together. Sometimes it is hard not to focus on how much we miss the former dynamic we shared together. The fast moving, complex, deep conversations about a myriad of subjects. But with all honesty I can say he is still Grayson. Still an affectionate, kind, and gentle young man blessed with a sense humor.

I told you four months ago that we gave Grayson completely to God and that we were grateful for getting him back a tiny bit at a time. As then, we have no expectation of where this journey will take us. We do know, however, that we embark on the journey willingly and with open hearts. We have much to learn about what "new normal" is for us all and we thank God for the opportunity to share life together.

Grace and peace to each of you.

Regina

Day 116 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today appeared to be a relatively uneventful day for Grayson. His general routine is: up at 7:00 in the morning; work at the clinic all day (physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, psychotherapy); back to the residence in the afternoon; do chores (today was check the mail and do the laundry); prepare and eat dinner; make and pack lunch for tomorrow; do therapeutic home program (THP) with the resident assistant (RA); chill (read, TV, music, rec center, etc.); prepare for bed; and lights out. Of course, all of these items come with lots of reminders to review checklists, and prompting. There were only minor reports of problem behavior today.

I spoke with Grayson just as he was ready to go to bed. He is excited to see us this weekend, and even more excited to hear that Lauren and Austin will be joining us, along with several other friends from USC. We have been told several times by the staff that he so looks forward to seeing us on the weekends – it does the heart good to hear that!

A short report tonight!

Pax!

Brant

Day 115 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Regina and I had an opportunity to speak with Grayson today. He sounded fine and it was great to hear his voice, since it had been a few days since we talked with him.

This week I have been sharing information that we received from Grayson's therapists at our conference on Monday. I will conclude that info share this evening with a more delicate topic – problem behavior. As with any parent, we all want our children to be perfect, and so it is a bit difficult to talk about problems. I do so tonight just so you are aware of some of the struggles that Grayson is having fitting in the "real" world. With brain injury issues, especially traumatic or anoxic injuries, behavior problems are to be expected. While we can physically keep small children from doing dangerous things, when the individual is 6'2" and 200 pounds, it is a losing proposition to try to physically prevent dangerous activity. Active supervision and a strategy is required!

There is a descending scale of problem behavior. From worst to least bad here is the list – aggression with contact, attempted aggression, angry language, active refusal, passive refusal and exiting. As the psychotherapist told us, "It's a good thing Grayson is a nice guy." He is big and strong, so imagine how difficult it would be if he was mean! Grayson has a low incident of aggression with contact, but not zero. Generally the issues revolve around someone trying to get him out of bed, and he kicks. For a time, if you tried to slow him down from eating, he would attempt to hit at you. This behavior has mostly waned in the last week or so, but it was still evident in this reporting period. Refusal, active and passive, is much more Grayson's style, and much of the time if he decided he didn't want to do something, he would put his head down and try to sleep. Clearly, the desire is to eliminate all of these behaviors, but the aggressive behaviors are certainly the most socially unacceptable, and most important to eliminate.

In the last two weeks, Grayson was put back on one of the meds that he was weaned off earlier. There is a strong correlation between the reintroduction of the med, and a behavior improvement. When I spoke with his residential assistant (RA) tonight, she stated that he has exhibited no behavior problems in the last three days. Now that indeed is great news, and will allow Grayson to spend more time in the community.

Thanks for listening. The past few days I have shared a lot of information to help you understand where Grayson is on his journey. We know where he was, and we know where he is now. The gift of therapists, neurologists, RA's, activity coordinators and a healthy dose of prayer will allow Grayson to continue to "re-grow" capability.

Pax!

Brant

Day 114 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today I will share a second installment of information presented at the conference we had this week with Grayson's therapists. Hopefully you find this informative and helpful in understanding where Grayson is in his recovery journey.

In the area of language and speech, Grayson has made some improvements. His vocabulary remains off the charts – he uses words seldom heard at the center. He has started using his voice more frequently, although he habitually slips back into a whisper. It seems hard for Grayson to use his voice – it seems to require effort for him. Even though his ability for sustained attention remains severely impaired, it has improved along with a corresponding decrease in frequency of exiting (getting up and leaving) or passive refusal. In his speech, intelligibility is fair at the single word level, but decreases significantly at the sentence level.

Grayson is displaying an improved ability to follow three step verbal directions. He is also able to listen to 35 word passages with a 79% recall. However, when given a task to complete, after a 5 minute break, he forgets what the task was, and is unable to complete it. These items tell me that his working memory is starting to return, but his short term memory is still severely impaired.

As with his physical abilities, Grayson's language and speech also are improving – this is good news. The rate of change continues to be slow, but there is change. We pray that the changes continue!

Pax!

Brant

Day 113 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today Regina and I had our 2^nd conference with Grayson's therapists. This time we held the conference "virtually", instead of travelling to be there in person. I'll share a bit from that conference over the next few days so that you might take a step back with us and see how he is doing overall.

In the area of physical therapy, Grayson has made considerable progress in most areas – endurance, stairs, dynamic gait, balance and rapid alternating movements. He has also has improved in the area of visual motor response, although it is still way too slow to be considered safe for navigating in the community. He is not even close to the range required for driving. His grip and pinch strength is only minimally improved, and that impacts his ability to hold a cup of liquid, open jars or turn a key.

In the area of Activities of Daily Living (ADL), Grayson's scores overall have dropped. The drop is primarily due to a reduction in the initiation of activity, and behavior. In the last week, he was placed back on one of the discontinued meds, and there has been some improvement, especially in the area of behavior.

Grayson continues to have difficulty "sequencing" – accomplishing the steps required to complete a task in the correct order. As an example, when asked to wash his hands, Grayson will go to the sink, grab a towel and dry his hands, put soap on them, turn on the water to rinse them then leave the sink with dripping hands.

Grayson has lost a little more weight, but he is still well within normal range for his height. Considering he is down 50 pounds since the incident, it tells just how much he needed to lose to be at a healthy weight! Part of the weight loss can probably be explained by the loss of his sense of taste and smell. His appetite just isn't what it used to be. I was amazed this weekend when he left half a cup of ice cream on the table, and said he didn't want anymore.

That's enough for today. I'll give you some more information from our conference tomorrow. Grayson is still improving overall, but as his psychotherapist stated, "It is 3 steps forward and 2 steps backward." There is still a net gain, but one that is frustratingly slow!

Pax!

Brant

Day 112 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today we picked Grayson up at 10:00 and went off to our now familiar local Lutheran church. Grayson had a good morning – singing hymns and reading along with the responses. It's amazing how those memory paths of song and verse that get walked over and over as we grow up, provide such a familiar place to return in times of stress. It was another warm welcome with our other church family.

After church we went to lunch. After several weeks of sushi, we decided it was time for something different – a hamburger and a root beer float at A&W. Not exactly health food, but it was a fun change of pace. Grayson hasn't had fast food since November, so this was probably was a big deal for him!

After lunch, we went to a delightful new park replete with two small lakes connected by a stream (all man-made of course). We walked around for about 90 minutes. It was so great to soak up the sunshine and be outdoors. It was also great to get Grayson moving! Here is a picture of Grayson and Regina pausing for a minute by the lake.

We returned to the residence, and Grayson took us to the rec center to see the karaoke machine. We played with it for a bit, and he sang several songs (the Beatles, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin) before he just ran out of gas. We bid our farewell and hit the road for home as he was ready to crash for a nap.

A nice day and a nice weekend. God was good to us today!

Pax!

Brant

Day 111 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today we picked up Grayson after he finished his weekly grocery shopping.

We took Grayson to lunch after all of the groceries were put away. Both Regina and I noticed that he is much more controlled with the speed of his eating. His hands still shake like the dickens, and we make sure that his glass is only filled half way. It was a noisy place, and that is not usually good with Grayson these days. Nonetheless, he behaved well, and was able to carry on a small amount of conversation.

After leaving the restaurant, we drove around a bit as have spent very little time trying to get to know this place – geography, centers of interest, etc. We spent an hour or so just driving around seeing things, locating the local museum and shopping for a hand strengthener at Sport Chalet. Then we decided to head back to our hotel to get some things. While there, we watched a movie on TV, Marley and Me. Grayson laughed out loud at some of the scenes and it was a delightful lazy afternoon.

After the movie, we went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for dinner. It was not crowded and not noisy – good things for Grayson. We had a leisurely dinner (something we could not have done two weeks ago) and asked him lots of questions. Tonight he remembered the street name where he is living – that's the first time he has been able to answer that question for us. Great news, and a little bit of short term memory that is working!

After dinner, it was back in the car, and off to the residence. Once there, he was done for the day. He got ready for bed and was in it less than 20 minutes after we arrived.

While still markedly improved from two weeks ago, today Grayson was off his game a bit compared to yesterday - another up and another down. The good news is that he IS improved in our observation. More good news – Grayson is looking forward to going to church with us tomorrow!

Pax!

Brant

Day 110 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Late this afternoon we drove up to see Grayson. It's a good thing we didn't stop on the way for dinner, or we would have missed him! We arrived, had a short visit, and then he was off to the theater to see a new play in town. Such culture!

He gave us a tour of his new apartment. His room was neat and his dresser drawers were very organized. Family pictures were up on the bulletin board. Clothes were hung neatly in his new much-larger closet. He was never this neat before!

Both Regina and I noticed a marked improvement in his speech and in his self control. His behavior has been outstanding. Tonight he even brought me my coat when it was time to leave, and held it for me to put it on. Wow! While we don't know for sure, we suspect that the meds that he started a week ago have made a difference.

While Grayson is improving, I do not delude myself how difficult his life will become. I need to remind myself occasionally of the research in the area of cardiac arrest (CA) induced anoxia, and how challenged the patients and their families are. On the bright side, his age is the wild card. Generally CA induced anoxia happens to folks in my age bracket, not Grayson's. We continue to pray and hope for continued success, in the knowledge that God has a plan.

Pax!

Brant

Day 109 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today Grayson was on his best behavior for the staff. This is several good days for Grayson. Could be improvement, could be his new residential assistant (RA), could be a honeymoon period in his new apartment. Whatever the cause, this significant reduction in inappropriate behavior is welcome and good!

This evening, Grayson asked to go to the rec center to sing with the karaoke machine. He really enjoys this, AND he remembers it. The initiation of an activity, as opposed to waiting for someone to tell him what to do, is also a very positive sign.

Tonight Grayson did all of his chores with minimal prompting. The picture task list seems to be working for him! After chores, he did most of the preparation tasks to bake his chicken breast, but the RA thought it best to put it in and remove it from the oven, as Grayson's hands are still so shaky and she feared that he might burn himself.

As a treat for his good behavior, cooperation and initiation, Grayson got to watch Happy Feet on the DVD in his apartment. According to his RA, he was laughing out loud, and was thoroughly entertained until it ended at 9:45 tonight.

Another great day that the Lord has made!

Pax!

Brant

Day 108 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

The staff reported that Grayson did wonderfully today. The staff is trying to encourage him to initiate his chores, as opposed to being reminded of them every day. Toward that end, they developed a picture task list for him to follow when he arrives home from the clinic. He was introduced to the book this afternoon, and when prompted, did each of the chores right away with no objection. The long term intent is to have him accomplish the chores without prompting.

After his chores, he went to the rec center. There they did the therapeutic home program (THP) interspersed with Karaoke. Today the THP's were filling in the blanks at the end of a sentence. He breezed through these as always. He sang with the karaoke machine for about 30 minutes – he loves it! His resident assistant (RA) told me that he sang one Beatles song from beginning to end – with all of the words. She was impressed, and Grayson had a ball!

After the rec center, they hopped the transportation to a pizza parlor. Grayson was chatty on the bus (he is usually quite non-verbal in public), and he saved a seat for his RA. When they arrived at the parlor, it was starting to rain, and he offered his coat to cover his RA's head. She was impressed. (Mom and Dad were proud.)

Probably the most significant thing here in Regina's opinion, is that these were deeds outside of "himself". He was thinking of someone else, and initiating action, as opposed to waiting for something, or to be told what to do. We consider this a very positive sign.

We called this evening right after he had returned home and gotten himself ready for bed. In the course of our conversation, he asked us how our day went – another sign that he realizes that there is a world outside Grayson.

The only bump in the road today was at the pizza parlor. It was quite noisy inside, and there was a lot of activity. Grayson can only tolerate that kind of environment for a short period. By the time the food arrived, he was done. He ate impulsively, and wouldn't be dissuaded from stuffing his mouth past full. He and his RA wound up sitting in the bus until the rest of the group finished, but that turned out to be positive and quiet. He calmed down and talked with her until they returned to the residence.

So you see, we have improvements and challenges. Today the good far outweighed the bad!

Pax!

Brant

Day 107 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was Grayson's first full day in his new room. Regina spoke with him today. He told her that he likes his new roommate, and he also said that he liked the new room. He described what he was wearing, and that he was taking a break and watching TV for a bit.

One of the things we had brought Grayson in the hospital, and now sits by his bedside, is a digital picture frame. The frame displays a new picture every 30 seconds. The pictures that we have loaded are of Grayson with various family members. He never turns it off. Today he plugged it in after the move yesterday, and it is again by his bedside.

Grayson was very difficult to understand tonight. Regina had to have him repeat things several times to understand what he was saying. This is just one more sign of just how long a road we are on, with very, very slow improvement over time. But we do see improvement from week to week. We still hope and pray that we will see more of the "old" Grayson again.

Pax!

Brant

Day 106 – Grayson’s Condition

Dear family and friends

Today was an exciting day for Grayson!

As soon as Grayson arrived back at the residence from the clinic this afternoon, Grayson moved from one apartment to another. Not a long distance move, but to the apartment next door. Necessitated by other moves at the complex, and desiring to keep staff with patients and patients in appropriate rooms, several folks wound up moving today. Lots of excitement!

Grayson actively participated in moving things and setting up his new room. He was quite helpful, moving foodstuffs, refrigerator items, clothing, personal items and the like. His staff remains the same, and so other than geography, things should remain the same. Change is exciting and sometimes unnerving, however. I got the sense that for Grayson, the jury was still out, but that he was not upset by the move. He has a very nice young man as a roommate, and the other room of his 3 bedroom unit is currently empty.

Today was also Monday – Music therapy at the rec center! Grayson went down there with a few other patients and wound up singing karaoke. Grayson had a ball, actively participated and stayed several hours. He also played Wii during the downtime. Regina and I spoke with him just as he returned to his apartment, and he sounded great. It was also later than he generally stays up now, so we were surprised that he was still going strong.

It was another good day full of life and song!

Pax!

Brant