Day 1142 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I apologize that it has been 5 days since our last blog post. Here at this particular condo in Mammoth we have very limited internet connectivity. Here is a short synopsis of our last few days!

After Christmas we were extremely busy getting ready for our Mammoth ski trip while simultaneously closing out many yearend “must-do” tasks. We managed to get everything done and hit the road for Mammoth around 4:30 on Friday afternoon. We arrived safe and sound late Friday night.

Saturday morning Austin and Xixi joined us after a short flight from LA. Saturday afternoon Grayson had his first ski lesson of the season at Disabled Sports Easter Sierra (DSES). I was amazed at how well Grayson did, although 8 months of being away from skiing had him pretty tired at the end of the first day.

Sunday morning Austin and I had a brief but fun time on the mountain before heading back to the condo to collect Grayson for his afternoon lesson at DSES. Austin and I accompanied Grayson on his lesson He showed some symptoms of muscle soreness and tiredness which I suspect was a result of the hard work the prior day. Nonetheless he did have fun! We returned back to our condo base camp so Austin could get ready for a special night out with Xixi – a Sno-Cat Dinner at the Paralax Restaurant mid-mountain at the McCoy Station at Mammoth.

Midway through the dinner, we received a text message that Xixi had said “Yes!” Austin had proposed and had bought her a ring that he presented at dinner. What a special way to end 2012!

Today Regina dropped me at the Little Eagle for my annual ski lesson. It was a good morning and a great lesson! Austin and Regina got Grayson up and ready then I met up with them at the Main Lodge in time for Grayson’s afternoon lesson. While Austin, Grayson and I skied, the girls went to the spa. We had a fun dinner at the Yodeler Restaurant back at the Main Lodge when we all finished.

Today as 2012 winds to a close, we wish all of you our love and blessings for a prosperous and joyous new year!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1137 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It has been a hectic time at the Reed Haus! Getting ready for Christmas, hosting our extended brood for Christmas dinner – we wouldn’t have it any other way, but it does make for a busy time!

Grayson was fascinated by all of the commotion and laughter and activity on Christmas. He enjoyed opening his gifts and kept picking and flipping through the pages of a book he was given. We were all tired today, but all needed to get up and start preparing for the next activity. Lots to do before Friday!

For the next two weeks it is officially Christmas. May you keep the spirit in your heart throughout the coming year!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1134 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

As we were reminded by the kids at church this morning, this is “the day before the day before!”

Grayson was again sharp as a tack today. He is in such a better place than he was just a few weeks ago. And just in time for Christmas!

The blessings of the season are upon us. May they also be with you!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1133 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a sleep-in day followed by a Christmas menu planning and hunter-gatherer day! After Regina and worried about and decided on the Christmas menu, Grayson and I headed out to gather the ingredients. These outings are great for Grayson. Today was especially good as he had to work his cart around a great many shoppers doing the same thing we were – playing hunter-gatherers for their own feasts! Today was particularly unusual as I had to get a cart and push one myself when Grayson’s became too full. It is handy to have a 6’2” helper, but he needs a fair amount of extra supervision and instruction.

Tomorrow is the 4^th Sunday in advent meaning that the wait is almost over and the Feast of the Nativity is almost at hand!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1132 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was sharp as a tack today. It is amazing how he can change in a week! While the average Joe might not notice a difference, we certainly do! He was quick to respond, very alert and totally tuned in to any and all activity around him. What a blessing before Christmas and before our annual ski trip!

Today was the last day of work for me for 2012. While I will have a few things to clean up in my “spare time” over the holiday, the next time I check in for work will be Monday the 7^th of January, as I’ll be taking the first few workdays of the year as vacation. Regina is not so lucky and will be working several days next week as she prepares for financial year-end.

Now the pressing concern is focusing on getting everything ready for Christmas. We’ll have a houseful for Christmas Day, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1131 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Wow! The work year is almost over – tomorrow is the last day of our working year. Time for preventative maintenance and mostly a plant shutdown, although there are some facilities that will continue to work in order to maintain schedules committed to our customers. Today was a long day but the end is in sight! One of the nice thing about the year-end shutdown is that almost the entire workforce is off so that you don’t fall behind like you would if you were on vacation. It is the most worry-free time off of the year!

Grayson remained active and alert today. He is looking forward to Christmas, candy and skiing during the next two weeks!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1130 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I just realized that my last post was Sunday – I’m falling a bit behind! I think that late nights and early mornings are beginning to catch up with me. Lots of extra year-end assignments and only two more days left in our work year – yikes! It looks as if I am starting to get things under control. Regina, on the other hand, has another full week of work days left. She barely has time to come up for air.

Grayson has been wide-eyed and alert these past few days. It is fun to see, and I’m so glad since Christmas is coming and we will be skiing soon. I so want him to be in an up cycle for those wonderful days where we really get to play together

Off to bed – another early day tomorrow!.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1127 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friend

Early this evening our church, Salem Lutheran, held its annual Christmas Concert. Both Lauren and I were involved – Lauren in the Bell Choir and I in the adult Sanctuary Choir. It was a wonderful concert with the entire set of musical ensembles represented – children choirs, adult choir, hand bell choir, organist and a brass ensemble – what an evening!

Grayson attended with Regina and he was quite enveloped in the concert.

After the concert, Austin and Xixi joined Regina, Grayson and me for dinner at a seafood restaurant in Glendale. Another extended church family was there also so it felt as if we had taken over the joint! We had a chatty and very pleasant evening together and still had time to get home before too late. I sure like the 5:00 PM concert time better than the 7:30 we used to have!

I believe that there is no denying it any longer – Christmas is almost upon us!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1126 – Grayson’s Journey

 Dear family and friends

It’s hard to believe that we are coming up on the 3^rd Sunday in Advent already – Rose Sunday. Christmas will be here in the blink of an eye!

Lauren and I spent the morning rehearsing in preparation for the Christmas Concert at church. The concert is tomorrow evening, and Lauren is playing in the Bell Choir, and I am singing with the Sanctuary Choir. After what I heard this morning, it will be a wonderful concert!

Grayson was quite alert today. I believe that he is definitely on the way out of his recent down cycle – good news for Christmas!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1125 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Tonight was family baking night at the Reed Haus! Lauren, Zack, Austin and Xixi were all here as we turned the kitchen into a diabetic dream come true! We made shortbread and sugar cookies as fast as we could. Entertainment was provided by Christmas videos – White Christmas and Home Alone were the features for the evening.

One of my dreams was to have a kitchen that was the gathering point for our family and friends – one that was large enough that everyone could feel that they were a part of the activity. Tonight I realized that here was a dream fulfilled – all of us working in the kitchen at the same time and having a ball making edible treats for now and memories forever.

Grayson was very happy eating our mistakes tonight – in his mind there is no such thing as a bad cookie! And as he watched Home Alone, he was a squirreling ball of hilarious laughter. He is so fun to watch!

What a fun night with our kids!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1124 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Just when I think that things couldn’t be busier, I am proven wrong again! We just have to roll with the inevitable changing plans and new deadlines we are given. We will make this work and all of our year-end deadlines will be met and our Christmas dinner will be perfect. The power of optimism!

Grayson seems to be slowly crawling out of his down cycle. He has been a bit more alert than he was last week – a good sign! We are praying for an up-cycle for Christmas and the subsequent Ski trip.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1123 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

The month of December (and 2012 for that matter!) continues to move forward at flank speed. Naturally, externally imposed crises and deadlines are leaping out from our offices at both Regina and I, just as they always do! I’m always amazed that as I approach year-end with my workload carefully planned out, how many things that others throw on my plate with crisis-like urgency. Ah well, it has been that way for the past 35 years of my career – why should it change now! In fact, why am I surprised? We’ll get it done, and still have a beautiful Christmas no matter what comes our way!

Grayson was very tired today – for good reason. He wandered into our room at 12:30 this morning. I put him back to bed then he walked out of his room again at 3:00. Adequate sleep was not to be for Grayson last night, and tonight he went to bed with little difficulty. Let’s hope that he gets a good night’s rest on this rainy night tonight!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1121 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a wild one for Regina and I. We were all over trying to make sure that our year-end activities at work are on target. Grayson stayed home with Maria.

Grayson appears that he may be rising out of the down cycle. While it is still early, he showed some signs of awakening – greater verbosity, more control and following more complex directions. What a great thing as we approach the Christmas Holiday!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1120 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

After church today we went shopping at Costco. While the stuff we acquired was pretty mundane (household goods and some groceries), a visit to Costco always seems to have the feel of provisioning up for a long journey. We left the store after spending over 2 hours and filling 2 shopping carts with merchandise. It’s a miracle that it all fit in the car!

Grayson was amazing. As always I have him push my cart. He deftly steered the cart among the (mostly oblivious) shoppers. The generally crowded store was even more packed than usual with people shopping for the holidays. I was quite impressed that Grayson was able to keep up with me and was quite patient with the crowds as he weaved and bobbed his way through the store!

After we arrived home and finished putting all of the new items away, we watched Miracle on 34^th Street while we cooked dinner. The Reed Haus is definitely in the Christmas spirit!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1119 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We had a special visit today from one of Grayson’s old Scout buddies – Lenny Ortega and his girlfriend Sara. Lenny and Grayson were buddies from early on in their Boy Scout days. They learned to ski together, were fellow members of the Order of the Arrow Ceremonies Team for our lodge, and shared many common interests. Here is a picture of Lenny (2^nd from the left), Grayson (3^rd from the left) and Austin (far right) in their OA ceremony costumes in May of 2002. Today during Lenny’s visit we reminisced about some of the funnier incidents that occurred during those years. Grayson could barely breathe he laughed so hard. What great memories that we all have – and that Grayson also remembers. What a wonderful visit we had.

As parents, these visits touch us to the core. The laughter and fun we once all shared together we get to relive. And we also see that Grayson is not forgotten by his old friends. We know that it will grow increasingly difficult for those old school and Scout buddies to visit as years pass, but each visit is treasured.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1118 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson is still in a down cycle, however I did see a glimmer of hope this evening. We were watching the movie The Santa Clause and we had to pause it for a few minutes. It was paused right at the point when Tim Allen picked up the pants of the former Santa Claus and was staring at the huge waistline – freeze frame. Grayson looked up at the picture just rolled with laughter. Then he went back to his magazine for a little, looked up and started rolling with laughter again. This happened over and over again. It was so fun to watch!

Perhaps he is in a down cycle, but he has not lost his sense of humor!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1117 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson continues in his down cycle that I have discussed the past few days. He is still loving and affectionate but he has an inability to string two things together. Let’s hope that this ends soon!

I am spending time back in physical therapy – this time for a back injury. Nothing “serious”, but if it interferes with our ski trip in 3 week, it WILL be serious! I’m taking good care of myself in the meantime!

The construction crew is back to work in our master bathroom after a 3 week hiatus waiting for an exterior door that has delayed the entire job. At least we are back in the bedroom and no longer sleeping in the living room!

In the grand scheme of things – it’s all good!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1116 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Busy days for Regina and I as we have been flying around for work – year-end deadlines are looming!

Grayson is officially in a down cycle. I thought yesterday may have been a fluke (bad night sleep or something) but he was there again today confirming that he is in one of his cycles. When he is like this he is difficult to engage and has a very tough time accomplishing the simplest of tasks – things that he would normally do easily. When he is like this, as much as I wish it were different, he is sort of “along for the ride” instead of engaging in the journey.

Hopefully this will pass soon!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1115 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a very different day for Grayson. After being so alert for so long, today he had trouble following any instruction or working through any problem. He was just stuck most of the day. I have no idea why he is alert some days and off kilter on another. It is just a fact of life.

Brain injury leaves the care givers in a very unpredictable place.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1114 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

This evening was special! Lauren and Xixi dropped in to carry all of the Christmas boxes upstairs from the garage. It was truly touching because I have been suffering from a back injury the past three weeks and I really couldn’t lift them. Austin arrived later and all joined us for a dinner of a large pot of beef stew that the girls helped me prepare earlier. It was a delightful evening!

Grayson was thrilled with all of the excitement and could hardly sit down. He wandered all over hugging anything that moved and was very interested in all of the things going on. Regina hung a few decorations and the house is now (in the words of Meredith Willson), “Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1113 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was another busy day. The focus has shifted from getting the house ready for Thanksgiving to getting everything ready for Christmas!

At the market today, Grayson, as he always does, pushes the shopping cart for me. About halfway through the shopping run I realized that we would never fit everything in the one cart and went to the door to get another. By this time his cart was so heavy that he had real problems steering the cart. This was a first in all of the times I have taken him shopping! We made it through together (I helped steer as necessary). Grayson got a workout!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1112 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,
 
With all emotion and love I must say that I married the perfect man (for me).
 
Brant can barely wait until December 1st. Today we brought home our Christmas tree. Tonight we had our annual blubber fest as we watched Albert Finney in the quintessential Christmas redemption movie/musical Scrooge.

I can't imagine anyone who approaches life with more optimism than Brant. I also cannot imagine sharing the challenges of our life with anyone else. Grayson is lucky to have a dad like Brant and they are both generous showing affection to one another. This didn't come overnight. It comes from a lifetime of gratitude and a spirit of joy. 

I can only pray that our other children find partners that will share the joy of life with them and love and support them through good and tough times. Dreams and plans don't always turn out the way we expect or hope for them to. They can, however different than planned, be full and childlike and worthy. 

With gratitude for finding a man who is as sappy as I am, 

Regina

Day 1111 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I returned home from Seattle this evening. Regina and Grayson picked me up from the airport, then we picked Lauren up from work and all went out to dinner. What a fun family evening!

Grayson was very bright eyed from the moment he woke up, according to Regina. He was very happy to see me and he hugged me almost too much! (There really never is too much, is there!)

We are looking forward to a weekend of Christmas decorating (weather permitting) and a family weekend.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1110 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

This week has had its challenges with Brant out of town, the return of Grayson's nosebleeds, and still breaking in the new caregiver.

After work this evening Grayson and I went out to grab a quick dinner at Chipotle and pick up a couple of things at the grocery store. As usual I talked to him the whole way and tried to get him to remember where we were going. He was able to tell me that Chipotle served Mexican food but when I asked him to name something they served he answered "pasta".

We parked right outside the door to the restaurant. As I was helping Grayson out of the car I asked him where we were going. I expected him to look around for a clue to the answer. He looked directly at me and with a big smile said, "To a happy place". I laughed so hard – I've never heard him use that expression before.

Not the answer I was expecting but certainly the laugh I needed. I am grateful for the little things.

Peace,

Regina

Day 1106 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Finishing a busy holiday weekend by packing for a week in Seattle! By all accounts this appears to be the last business travel of the year.

Grayson was active and alert today. The two of us went for a walk today and I was impressed by his speed. Since his caregivers take him on walks twice a day, the two of us don’t go together as often as we did in the past. His pace as I recall it was mostly a stroll. Today he was doing a good job of keeping up with my “quick-time” pace. This pace and fitness bodes well for his upcoming ski season!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1105 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

While it was a day later than planned, the annual tradition of turkey stock is now on the stove. The USC-Notre Dame game provided lots of opportunity for me to break up the bones of our Thanksgiving meal and it will cook down for several hours to become the stock for turkey soup and next years’ secret ingredient for the stuffing. While the taste of defeat is bad, at least the house smells good!

Grayson romped all over town with us today as we finalized our bathroom surfaces. It has been a wonderful weekend of cooking, entertaining and family. What could be better? (Perhaps a USC big win? Not this year!)

Pax!

Brant

Day 1104 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving – we certainly did!

Here is a picture of our table prior to the feast, and another of Regina, Lauren and I welcoming our special 25-pound guest to the dinner table!

We had a glorious day! Rita, Richard and all of the kids and several special friends were here. All in all there were 10 for dinner. We even had the first fire in the fireplace for the season!

On a dietary note, I realized today that we consumed 2¼ pounds of butter and ¾ gallon of heavy whipping cream. I do believe that I have had my ration of butterfat for the foreseeable future! Unfortunately what is consumed in Glendale, stays in Glendale…

These are special holidays. We have lost loved ones this year, and Thanksgiving reminds me that family celebrations are so precious. The memories that I hold from Thanksgivings of my childhood remain with me today (thanks Floriene!) I can only hope that these celebrations are as important to my children as they are to me.

We at the Reed Haus have much to be thankful for, but most of all it is the friends and family that hold us close and keep us warm in their love every day on our journey through life. Know that we love and cherish all of you!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1102 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house,

Was cooking and cleaning, table setting and excitement!

The shopping is done – three trips to the store,

The turkey is in the fridge awaiting the cooks in the morn.

The pumpkin pies are cooling – Grayson is in bed,

Regina and Brant are exhausted and spent.

Tomorrow we will arise fresh and ready

To make a feast of all feasts

For our loved ones aplenty.

And as I go off to bed, I know you are thinking

That this all doesn’t rhyme – and I’m too tired to worry about it!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1101 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

I’m afraid that I missed posting day 1100 – a milestone day in two respects. One was that another 100 days had passed since Grayson’s injury. The other was the 29^th anniversary of our marriage. Of the smartest things I have done in my life, that day 29 years ago tops the list. I’m also the luckiest guy alive that Regina said, “I do” that day. Here is a picture of the young couple on their way from the church to the reception – enjoy!

Grayson has been quite alert these past few days as we have been rushing around getting the house ready for Thanksgiving. While we are now back in our bedroom, the bathroom (the major cause of the construction) is still a month away from completion. We hope to finish that before Christmas. But at least we have a living room and a dining room back in action for the Thanksgiving Roast Beast!

While there is still a lot to do before Thursday, we can see the path. We are excited to entertain in our home again, and all of our children will be here. Is there anything better than that?

Pax!

Brant

Day 1099 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a busy and a productive day for all of us. After returning home from church, we moved the final bedroom items out of the living room and back into the now-finished bedroom. Thanks to Austin and Zack, we had the horsepower to lift the final three pieces into their final locations. Tonight we will sleep in our new bedroom with a living room that is almost ready for Thanksgiving. We still have three more days to prepare!

Grayson remains alert and active. Tonight we made a “short” grocery run – short because we only have a few days to shop for before the Feast of Thanksgiving! (That meal will require at least one more shopping journey.) Grayson was helpful at the store pushing the cart and in bringing bags of groceries up stairs. While it may be faster to keep him uninvolved, Regina and I try to turn every life activity into therapy.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1098 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was my first full day home in a week. It was great to sleep in a bit this morning, then do a few chores before watching the USC/UCLA game. The game was anything but relaxing. In the end, our Trojans came up short for the first time in 6 years and guaranteed a disappointing season – not what we expected coming into the year ranked #1. The reality is that there are a lot of good college football teams, and you have to play consistently high caliber football to win championships. We did not. Some other schools felt the sting this week also. That is the way of this sport, and also what makes it so fun!

Grayson continued his sharpness today. Along with that alertness is almost uncontrollable scratching. We are to the point of putting gloves on him so that he doesn’t hurt himself! He was particularly fun and verbal (for Grayson) today. Let’s hope that continues through the Thanksgiving Holiday!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1097 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It was three years ago today that I was on my way out the door, heading to the airport for a business trip to Philadelphia. Grayson gave me a big hug and said, “Love you Dad! See you Friday.” It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. That image is burned into my brain, and I had no idea that those would be the last words I would have with my son before a brain injury altered him forever. Roughly 90 minutes later my plane went wheels up, and Grayson had his cardiac incident – ironic that they would occur about the same time. Two and a half hours later I landed at DFW and turned on my cell phone. There was a message from the Glendale PD that was my first indication that life was forever changed.

While we knew that our lives were changed, we had no idea what changes were in store for us in those early days. The first night I expected him to recover just as he had in 2004. Scary but he’ll pull through, I thought. Then things became more complicated. For the next few days as he clung to life, it appeared that we would be adjusting to life without Grayson, as it was unclear if he would survive the traumatic experience. After he started to pull out of the woods, we realized he would live, but we were unsure if he would ever be able to walk and talk. Within a month he showed us that he could learn to walk again, and he became increasingly more verbal, but not very understandable.

By month 3 he was in residential rehab in Bakersfield. At this point we started to come to grips with the limits to his capabilities, but it took us several more months to realize that we would become his primary caregivers and all that the role entailed. We understood intellectually, but only after he moved back home did we fully appreciate what that meant.

Grayson has been home 26 months now. We have adjusted to the routine of living with an adult child with severe disabilities. We take him everywhere with us. But in all of those 26 months, the first time we (as in both of us together) were away from him overnight was when we went to Napa two weeks ago. Being the parent of a severely challenged young adult is a calling.

And not to forget about the impact on the siblings, Austin and Lauren have had to develop a new relationship with their older brother that they looked up to all of the years that they were growing up. He is no longer the same Grayson that they grew to know, love and count on. The change affects everyone.

There are days where the caregiver is unavailable and we have to scramble. There are times where we get frustrated and have to get past it. There are (many) times when I’m out of town and Regina has to shoulder the burden by herself. But our new life has become understood and the surprises and last minute panics have become routine. Is it what we expected as we approach our golden years? Hardly. But we have been given many gifts, and Grayson is one of those gifts that need our care.

And Grayson retains the most important element of his personality from before his incident – he is happy and loving. Don’t you wish that everyone you came in contact with daily had those traits?

Pax!

Brant

Day 1094 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

Grayson was amazing cooperative and "with it" today.

For example, when I asked him to return his magazine to the basket he dropped it on the floor next to the basket. This is not unusual. What was unusual is that he missed the second time and the third time and picked it up each time until he got it right. With minimal cueing.

When I asked him to put a large item in the trash he put it in with half of it hanging out as he usually does. This time he reached back and shoved it all the way in.

These things may seem small but they are significant to me. They show not only an awareness of his actions, but a response and proactive corrective behavior. Repetition really does pay off.

It was 36 degrees when I got up this morning and the forecast for tomorrow is 80 in Glendale. No wonder Grayson has the sniffles.

Stay healthy, my friends, as we enjoy our last day of summer-like weather.

Peace,

Regina

Day 1093 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

The crisp, cool weather allows Grayson and his caregiver the opportunity to walk our canyon streets without the heat of just a week ago. The uphill walks seem to improve Grayson's alertness and we are grateful for even the smallest of improvement in his ability to answer questions on these days.

I continue to hope that these improvements might someday prove to be cumulative rather than completely variable from day to day.

In hope,

Regina

Day 1092 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was very sharp (for Grayson) again today. However, it has been a long day (lots accomplished, but still long!). Tomorrow morning I’m on a plane to Seattle for the week.

Calling it quits for tonight!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1091 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

USC managed to win big this week, even though most of us couldn’t watch it. The new Pac-12 Network is carried on about 2 services and most of us have no access to it. Hopefully the Trojans will get back on television so they can be seen again before the end of the season!

As it now stands, the winner of the USC/UCLA game next week will be the Pac-12 South champion and likely play Oregon, the North champion, for the Pac-12 Title. I’m anticipating a big buildup for the annual cross-town rivalry this year!

Grayson had another bright-eyed day today. We ran some errands, had lunch along the way then ran some more errands, all the time listening to the game! Grayson was fun to be with today!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1090 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Lauren came by to help Regina today. Mom and daughter had a great day together and I am so grateful that she returned to be close to family again!

After work, Lauren joined Regina, Grayson and I for a nice dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We chatted and talked all evening and were shocked when we looked at the time. It was a fun night and we all went to bed happy!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1089 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had another bright-eyed day again today. He was alert all evening after I relieved his caregiver. We ran some errands this evening, and he was interested and he participated when he was asked for help. Of course, the help is for therapeutic purposes – to involve him in the activity and to make his brain focus and work. It is far better for Grayson to be involved in activity than simply watch or have the activity go on around him.

This is what we do now – we take him with us everywhere and try to engage him in what we are doing. It is the therapy of ADL – activities of daily living.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1088 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was very sharp and alert today.

Regina and I had a very early morning and a very long day today. Off to bed!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1087 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Well, another general election has come and we have a new Congress and a re-elected President. We also have our TVs back to detergent commercials and our telephones back to non-political solicitation. After spending a gozillion dollars on the campaign, we have almost the same configuration in Washington as we did prior to the election. Let’s hope that this configuration is more interested in working for us, and not focused on their own individual agendas.

Grayson spent time with his new caregiver today. Maria is adjusting to dealing with a young client that eats like a teenager, and not the aging patient that most caregivers are used to. She is adjusting well, but still has a lot to learn about dealing with a young brain-injured client. She has a good attitude so we look forward to working with her.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1086 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s new caregiver started today. Her name is Maria and they seemed to get off on the right foot together today! It will take a few days to tell if this is a good fit, but initial indications are good!

My root canal went off without a hitch – no big deal in retrospect! Fortunately we got to it before the abscess became a real problem.

Tomorrow is Election Day and we will be glad to replace the nightly political calls with the home construction solicitations!

Remember to go vote!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1085 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson woke up as sharp as a tack today. He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from the get go!

Today was our weekend as yesterday was lost entirely to the game and the pre and post activities. Grayson was active and alert all day and he was a big help when it came to the heavy lifting at the grocery store – my back is still recovering!

We are heading into an insane week. Tomorrow I have a root canal (oh joy.) Regina and I both have major commitments at work. We have a new caregiver starting tomorrow, and I expect that the construction crew will be here first thing to consult before they start to work. And then there is Tuesday through Friday!

Life is full of opportunities!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1084 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was the first USC game of the season that we have had the opportunity to attend in person. With Regina and I were Grayson, Austin and Xixi and my cousin Doug and his lovely wife Kemi. Lauren and Zack joined us for lunch before the game, so it was truly a family day!

Just to set the stage, my cousin Doug and Kemi are Oregon alums – the rest of us are USC almuni or, in Regina’s case, a Trojan parent. We were glad that the Trojan fans were gracious to our two Ducks that we brought with us. And we were equally glad that our two Ducks were gracious to the rest of us in victory!

The game was amazing. 113 total points scored. The Trojans scored 51 points – and lost. Mind boggling! While hard to swallow, perhaps this is the year for the Ducks to go all the way. There’s always next year!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1083 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today we were back to normal – sort of. This was Danielle’s last day with us, so today was the last of the “old normal”. Danielle was a wonderful care giver and unfortunately she had to move away too soon. For the last 4 months we have not had to worry about the quality of Grayson’s care or his safety. She will be missed!

Monday we have a new care giver starting – Maria.  She impressed us with her enthusiasm and her personality. We look forward to working with her.

Tomorrow we will all go to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to watch the Trojans of USC play the Ducks of Oregon. With us will be my cousin Doug and his lovely wife Kemi, both graduates of that “other” great Pac-12 school. We will all be rooting for a great game, and that “our” school gets the win!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1082 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

We’re home again!

After two nights away, we are back in Glendale with Grayson. This was the first time that we have been away from Grayson since he was discharged from the CNS residential program in September of 2010. We had a two-day taste of what we had expected as parents of adult children, but sometimes expectations have an uncanny way of evaporating. However, we did have two wonderful days away together – respite care for Regina and Brant! It is hard to describe the feeling of freedom from the total responsibility for caring for another adult - 24x7. How grateful we are to Lauren, Zack and Rita for allowing us to reconnect for a few days.

Grayson was happy to see us when we got back tonight! We picked him up from Rita’s tonight (thanks Rita for taking him home after Danielle was done for the day!) We went to dinner and enjoyed the last bit of our vacation with our affectionate boy. It was great to see him again. In spite of the need for a bit of freedom, we missed him and are glad we are all back home together. Tonight we will all sleep snugly in our own beds!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1081 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Greetings from Napa!

We are here for a surprise birthday celebration for Jill. The event was last night and now we can tell the tale! Lauren and Zack generously offered to watch Grayson overnight so we were able to get away for a few days. We enjoyed our evening last night with a large group as we celebrated Jill’s signature day. We slept in this morning, then joined Mike and Jill, Anne and Katie, and Jim and Lynn for a picnic and wine tasting. We continued our evening handing candy out to the Trick-or-Treater’s at Mike and Jill’s followed by an awesome meal prepared by Mike.

We head back home tomorrow and will be spending tomorrow in our own beds. It is hard to believe that this is the first time we have been away on our own since Grayson has returned from Bakersfield in September of 2010. What a special treat to be allowed the opportunity to get away for a few nights.

Thank you Lauren and Zack!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1079 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson had a slow day or two, but it looks as if he may be not be done with his “up” period quite yet. As always during these periods, he has a difficult time allowing himself to go to sleep. Tonight about 12:30 AM he opened his door and set off his alarm. Regina put him back to bed. These times are hard on our sleep also!

On a lighter note, Danielle was doing his Therapeutic Home Therapy Program (THP) with him today. I will quote from her report. “Had a good laugh today during the THP questions. When I asked Grayson what whiskey, wine and beer had in common, he responded, ‘They’re all good!’ I accepted it and moved to the next question.”

The alert times, despite the challenges, are the most fun!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1078 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

The weekend has had its ups and downs.

The high points included a fun Halloween party at Rita and Richard’s. In addition to a ton of other people, the entire family was there – Austin and Xixi, Lauren and Zack and the three if us. We all had a ball and it was a much later night than we had anticipated!

On the less than “up” side, the Trojans gave away the game on Saturday. After a day when they played well some of the time, they beat themselves with mistakes for the rest of it. The Wildcats got the win and the Trojans are now a 2-loss team and no longer in the National Title hunt.

And to top things off, I woke up this morning practically unable to move. Every now and then I wind up with a back-pain mess, and today was it. Usually I can get over them in a week or so if I’m good. So time to be good!

Grayson was sharp as a tack yesterday, and woke up slow as molasses this morning. Fortunately he wound up more lively as the day wore on. All is well that ends well!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1076 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was really alert today. In spite of a noisy day of pounding and drilling upstairs, Grayson was very responsive and quick. Danielle even reported that he was helpful with the dishes and some cooking! I’m sure that none of this had anything to do with the preparation of a pineapple upside-down cake. Part of Grayson’s dish duty was to pre-clean the mixing bowl, a job he was most interested in (licking the bowl if I’m being too subtle!). All in all Grayson was quick to respond all day, but his verbal responses were not very understandable.

It’s Friday! Tomorrow we get to sleep in a bit before starting our day. Have a great weekend!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1075 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was as slow as molasses this morning. Danielle commented that she couldn’t get him to focus on anything. However after lunch, she said that his brain seemed to “thaw out” and he was much more alert. On their afternoon walk he pointed things out and identified them and was very alert. Regina and I noticed the same thing this evening – he was quite “with it”.

The ups and downs of this neurological journey are amazing. Not that Grayson’s “ups” are anywhere near where he used to be, but he has a new normal, and it is against that that we measure. Sometimes he is above, and sometimes he is below. Sometimes it is easy to correlate the cause of a “down” or an “up” day, such as a bad or a good night of sleep. But the connection of cause is not always easy to make. We were told once that the mental reserves that you or I have can help us get through a bad day. Grayson no longer possesses any of those mental reserves and has no way to push through a bad day.

Fortunately, today was a pretty good day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1074 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was quite alert today. I spent the late afternoon with him as he finished up his dental work and again I was surprised with his cooperation. I wish I had the same response when I brush his teeth! After Grayson was finished I had the dentist take a quick look at an area of concern in my mouth. After an observation and an x-ray, it appears that I have a root in one of my teeth that is going south. I was referred to an endodontist for a probable root canal. Great.

After the dental work we picked up Regina and had dinner. Now THAT was enjoyable!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1073 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a little like Seattle in LA – drizzle and clouds followed by some scattered sunshine and clan air.

Grayson continued his “sharp streak” and was active and alert today. As always when he is alert, staying in bed after we put him down is rarely guaranteed! The good news is that tonight the door alarm only went off one time. I straightened out his bed, put him back down and he stayed down. Thank goodness!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1072 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends,

There are days when conflicting responsibilities come crashing in and I wonder how on earth I will keep my head above water. Today was one of those days.

The next couple of weeks are a confluence of responsibility for Grayson, work responsibility, legal proceedings, planning for a social opportunity, volunteer commitments and a determination not to burden other family members.

Thank God for my partner, Brant.

Our caregiver and her children must move to the east coast in the next couple of weeks because her Marine husband has been transferred across the country. We are placed in the position of interviewing once again for daytime care for Grayson.

When my capacity (which is not small) for making responsible choices for the use of our limited time was pushed to its limits, Brant managed to love me through the process and escort me across the bridge of frustration and despair.

For Grayson's sake and my own, I give thanks for Brant.

Our interview tonight proved quite promising.

The decisions are not easy, the path is not without struggle but the yoke is made easier and the burden made lighter.

Thanks be to God.

Regina

Day 1071 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today Regina was up and out early as she was assisting minister for both services at church. Grayson and I rolled in a bit late to the second service but I had a good excuse – four work calls before 10:00 AM. (We had a major crisis on Friday that is still stabilizing.) After church we had a nice lunch together then Grayson and I headed off to the grocery store to get provisions for the week.

Grayson was alert and active all day. He helped me with the chores and even helped me change a light bulb.

Grayson and I ended the night with an action movie while Regina was at back church working with the confirmation class. It was a good day!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1070 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was a trooper again today as we spent the day shopping for the things needed for the update to our master bedroom and bath. I don’t think that there is a home improvement store in the area that he hasn’t walked through with us!

We arrived home in time to watch the game but, alas, I neglected to check the broadcast network. This game was on the Pac-12 Network. Thus far only Acme Cable, and Fred’s Satellite and Hair Care Center are carrying the Pac-12 Network so we had to settle for radio. It turns out that the game was won in the first minute or so, so it wasn’t much of a cliffhanger. Final score – USC 50, Colorado 6.

During halftime, Grayson and I took our 1 mile walk up to the golf course and back. During our walk, a cyclist stopped and said, “Hi – remember me?” It was one of Austin’s classmates from Flintridge Prep during his middle school years. For those two years I used to give him a ride to school along with Grayson and Austin. This was the first time he had seen Grayson since Grayson was in high school. We spoke for several minutes catching up and sharing stories of friends that we have in common. He is a great “kid” (probably 25 now!) and it was great to see him again.

During our walk, Grayson moved as fast as I ever remembered. How fun was that! This is great exercise for ski season and Mammoth opens in just a few weeks!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1069 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

It was a beautiful sunny day and Grayson and Danielle went for two long walks and baked a loaf of banana bread. The nice thing about the banana bread is that you get to eat it when it cools – and Grayson loves his breads!

Most of my evening was lost due to a crisis at work – a not-so-fun way to end the week. But things are recovering and my awesome team is taking care of business. Hopefully all will be well by tomorrow night!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1068 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s caregiver Danielle commented in her notes that Grayson had alert day today. After Danielle left today Grayson was in stiches watching some sitcoms on TV. When he is laughing so uncontrollably it just makes you smile. Some of the humor is subtle, some requires education to appreciate and some is just plain slapstick. Nonetheless, Grayson laughs at all of it. Sometimes he laughs so hard that I’m afraid that he won’t breathe!

The endorphins in the room are contagious, and he makes the whole house happy when he is laughing.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1067 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a memorable day for me, although I had little time to reflect upon it. 35 years ago today I reported for work at Hughes Aircraft Company. In 2000 the space business of Hughes was bought by The Boeing Company, so today I was recognized as a 35 year Boeing employee. I would never have thought 35 years ago that I would still be working for the same company – but I am and I’m still having a ball! We have seen amazing advancements in my industry and I am proud to continue to work in the industry of my father – and my son Austin!

This afternoon I took Grayson to the dentist for visit 2 of 3 in a treatment plan. We are being overly conservative in his dental care so that we might avoid major dental procedures. Dental hygiene with Grayson is difficult, but Regina and I are pretty good at getting his teeth brushed. My observation of caregivers is that they want him to brush his own teeth. When he came home from Bakersfield, his teeth were yellowed and we were concerned about his dental health. We have made a difference in the past few years. Now our very patient family dentist is making sure to get even the smallest amount of decay out and seal all of his teeth.

I was amazed again today at how cooperative Grayson was in the dental chair. Constant encouragement from the dentist is a major contributing factor, but nonetheless I am still amazed. In fact, our dentist cleans Grayson’s teeth himself – quite a departure for the rest of us that are cleaned by the hygienists. I am so pleased with the care that they give Grayson.

Thank God for giving us a dentist that is patient and has such a kind touch, as well as a warm spot in his heart for Grayson!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1066 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a sort-of back to normal day. The “sort-of” part was that Danielle had a day off that we had not marked on the calendar. Needless to say it was a day of unplanned juggling. I took Grayson with me to a doctor’s appointment so Regina could work and Regina watched Grayson so I could work. It was a crazy day, but we both had an unexpected opportunity to interact with Grayson.

Grayson was quite alert and active today and he was fun to be with. As the weather cools down (only in the high 80s today) I’m looking forward to going skiing with him again. Winter will soon be upon us and we will go play in the snow again soon. In the meantime, we will keep our shorts on as long as we can!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1065 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

On Sunday I spent the Morning and early afternoon visiting my cousin Jasper and his family in Milton-Freewater, then went back out to the farm for one last visit with Imogene before starting the trek back. Suzanne and her family were still there so we all had some final visit time. My family is very close and I regret that we do not get to spend much time together. Distance does play a part!

About 3:00 PM I headed out and swung by the old berry stand for one final look. I don’t know when I will pass this way again! Since someone else is now farming the land, it has been returned to wheat fields, but the lonely berry stand remains. It is hard to believe that over 1000 kids worked there over the 50 summers the berry business was in operation. Many talked about it during the anniversary celebration last June. What they said was that they learned the value of work and commitment. Lasting values that stuck with many of these kids for the rest of their lives.

Leaving the berry stand behind, I started driving to Seattle – 288 miles and one rest stop. Not bad!

This morning I boarded a plane bound for home. When I arrived Grayson and Regina were waiting on the porch for me! The first thing I did, after big hugs from Regina and Grayson, was to put on shorts – it was in the 80s and I just came from the great north wet! Tonight we enjoyed each other’s company and caught up on many stories from my week away.

It was a great night and it is great to be home!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1063 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Greetings from the Winn Family Farm in Umatilla County Oregon!

Today we paid our respects to a man that I am proud to refer to as my favorite uncle. My Uncle Bob and I had a special bond. He was my mother’s younger brother and he outlived her by 18 years. He was a special connection not only to my mom, but to my grandparents. My grandmother passed when my mother was in her early teens, and my mother moved to California after marrying my dad and finishing college (Oregon State if you are keeping score). I had little connection to my grandfather, but it was Uncle Bob that made the family connection to past generations come alive.

Bob, a.k.a. George Robert Winn, was famous in his youth for painting on a wall, “Please call me Bob!”  I think that he loved his name as a palindrome because he made sure that the rest of us knew our name backwards. I am Tnarb and all of my kids also know their backwards names – Nosyarg, Nitsua and Nerual. Today if I ask Grayson what his name is backwards, he will say “Nosyarg Deer”.

During my junior high school years I used to come up for several weeks during the summer. During those summers, Uncle Bob gave me the first opportunity to drive (an old pickup truck through the fields), taught me to ride a motorcycle (at the age of 13), and shoot a 22 rifle – things that a LA city kid just couldn’t do. I also got to move irrigation pipe in the field, hoe weeds, work harvest – other things that a kid from LA could not imagine.

We worked hard and we played hard. Those summers made a lasting memory and a lasting impression on my life. My cousin Jasper today asked me how many summers I visited. When I replied 2, he was astounded. All of the things that we did and all of the memories we made he was certain that I came up for 4 summers or more. Isn’t it amazing how our impressions overwhelm our senses to create bigger than life memories? I think that it is a wonderful testimony to the number of things that we did together to fool our sense of logic and allow the wave of family fun to crash over us and make our actual experiences to become larger than life.

I am so grateful that Regina, Grayson and I made the effort to attend Bob and Imogene’s 65^th Wedding Anniversary Celebration last June described here on Day 931. When we left that weekend I had no idea that I would be back here so soon. In fact, if I had not been in Seattle on business travel this week it is unlikely that I would have been able to make it as most of the flights were already booked. I was fortunate to be able to reschedule my return flight and take the beautiful drive from Seattle to Weston, Oregon on Friday.

The memorial service was held in the barn that was built by my grandfather in 1916. No longer a functioning barn, it has been lovingly converted to a banquet hall by my cousin Preston and his lovely wife Arlene. It is the same location where we held the anniversary last June. After the service we packed the living room of the old house and sang hymns and shared memories of Bob. Bob was truly a wonderful man who touched the lives of many people. We will miss him.

Tomorrow I drive back to Seattle and I fly home on Monday.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1057 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was a sad day and a day of rejoicing. My Uncle Bob was called home at around noon today. This is the uncle whose 65^th anniversary we celebrated just last June 3^rd and I described in this blog on Day 931. The day was sad for all of us because of the certain knowledge that we will no longer be able to enjoy his wit, culture and conversation while we dwell on the earth. However we rejoice because of the equally certain knowledge that he is happy to be home with his Father and is no longer suffering. I shed tears this afternoon, then spent hours in conversation with several of my cousins. Keep his dear bride Imogene and his 4 children in your prayers this day.

I’ll be heading to Seattle for the week so tonight I am packing. Regina has a very busy week also so keep her in your thoughts as she juggles responsibilities with grace as always.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1056 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson was a champ once again going along with us as we went to various locations and solidified our choices for materials in the master suite remodel. Our long day was productive as we managed to tentatively select materials for the bathroom counter that coordinate with the walls and flooring. Now we will wait for a few weeks to get the replacement exterior door (the old one was rigid only because the termites were holding hands!) During the wait, the focus will shift to the bedroom where we hope to put on a full court press and get finished so that we can be moved out of the living room prior to Thanksgiving.

Never a dull moment at the Reed Haus!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1055 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Grayson’s caregiver shared that it was a slow start today with little focus early. As the day wore on he became more focused and this evening he was quite alert – and quite affectionate. He was clearly looking for hugs this evening when we went to dinner and he was quite cuddly all evening. Sometimes this proves awkward in a restaurant or when trying to carry on a conversation, but I’m happy to take the affection.

Do you ever find yourselves missing the hugs of your kids when they were little? One of our blessings is that we get them from Grayson constantly.

Pax!

Brant

Day 1054 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Thursday night football! Our Trojans recovered after spotting the Utes 14 points in the first 3 minutes of the game. The final score was 38-28 with the Trojans out on top. The Reed Haus cheered on our boys on a weeknight for a change! Next up – the always troublesome Huskies from Washington.

Grayson was a little off his game today - we may be getting to the end of the current up-cycle. He is still curious and active, but going back to his non-verbal ways. Let’s hope that a weekend of activity can turn that around!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1052 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

Today was another scorcher here in the Southland – another 100° + day. Tomorrow it should start cooling off – a balmy 87°!

Grayson was showing signs of the end of his “up” cycle – he was very inattentive and non-verbal today. Let’s hope that he will be rested in the morning and that the up-cycle remains with us!

Pax!

Brant

Day 1051 – Grayson’s Journey

Dear family and friends

October and 105°. Welcome to fall in LA!

Today was a scorcher in the Southland. Grayson was alert and verbal (for Grayson) all day, but he was repeating himself today – a common thing for Grayson when he becomes verbal. The upswing times are always interesting – and frustrating – to watch. Interesting because of the increased responses; frustrating because of an increased level of activity resulting in an inability to sit still and a pattern of standing up and wandering around (often with a book). The wandering with a book thing gives us some anxiety around stairs. We call that the parent gene.

I had the opportunity to represent The Boeing Company at my alma mater, USC, this evening as a mock interviewer. What a fun evening! The students were all very bright and engaging, and also very nervous! Most of the students were from various Asian countries and for many English was a second language. This was an opportunity for them to make relationships with companies representing many fields while becoming more comfortable with the current interview processes and actually “living” the experience. For those of you that haven’t participated in the hiring process recently, you will be shocked that the trend is moving quickly to panel interviews with structured questions. When I was hired, a family friend gave my resume to some coworkers and the next thing I knew I had interviews. Today that practice is quickly fading – and is completely gone at my company. It’s a new world out there and I am pleased that the student groups at USC are exposing their students to it.

Pax!

Brant